Friday, December 26, 2008

New Pictures!!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Family Pictures 2008-I GIVE UP!!!!!
But I will share with all of you this silly bunch of testosterone I live with. Sometimes I wonder why just one of them wasn't a girl, then I think God always knows what he is doing.

I think this set is my favorite!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

How fast the time goes!
Here is a picture of our sweet little baby! Well not exactly our sweet little baby, he is actually my cousins sweet little baby but we love him lots. He turned 1 on the 15th and he thinks he a big boy. He is so proud of himself when he lets go of things and walks across the room. You should have seen him with this cake. If you look right behind his bottom you can see my arm. He refused to sit in his high chair so I sat him in the middle of the kitchen table with his cake and once the icing got caked on his hands he started waving them around fiercly trying to get the icing off and off it came. That stuff was flying everywhere. It was on the walls, the miniblinds, the people and all over me. I had to stop on my way back to church and buy me another shirt to where that night because I had blue icing on me. But my little monkey is worth it all and I would not have traded those moments for anything in the world. I love you monkey! Lets take the next year a little slower, K!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

For those wondering I do not feel like a zombie today. I am almost terrified to even write this. My stomach is feeling some better, I have taking in about 2 ounces of water thus far today which is probably more than I took in all day yesterday. I hope I am on the up side of this, now if I could just kick this nasty sinus stuff. Yuck and my mouth is soooo dry. Don't mean to sound whiny sorry.

On a lighter note we are getting a new baby, no me we but my cousin we. Of course she is terrified as this was not planned, but I have assured her that we are there for her to help her in any way that we can. I of course am really excited what is better than a brand new baby!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Where did this come from and please let it go!!!!

Depair, Darkness, Depression, Saddness, Hopelessness, Terrified, Unknown, Unworthy, Pain, Why me, Anger and those are to just name a few.
As you can see this is not going to be one of those happy go luck post, in fact I don't even know wy I am doing this here. I have to get this out and I figure here better than some of the other places it could go. I am not doing this for your sympathy, disapproval, approval, opinion, or anything else. If you want to encourage me than that fine but I can't handle much else right now.
Last week I knew something was really out of wack I would be literally burning up and freezing at the same time. I could cry at the drop of a hat and I couldn't eat anything, it was 4 days before I had realized I hadn't had anything to eat. So I made the dreaded appointment with the ole Dr. That morning I told one of my co-workers I thought I was going crazy. She just kindof laughed me off and told me to go get checked out. Did I mention I was having migrained daily.
So when I get there and the Doctor comes in the room the first thing I said to him was before I say anything else I really am not crazy. I have been seeing him for 11 years and so he knows me really well and he says I know your not crazy what's going on. I stated I feel like I am crazy. Then I told him that I was having visual distubances, hearing things, freezing and burning up at the same time, exhausted but couldn't sleep, only getting about 3 to 4 hours of sleep per night, joints were hurting and my stomach was burning everytime I put anything in it.
He told me that my thyroid medication wasn't working and that my thyroid was causing everything which had caused me to go into a severe depression, severe axiety, so I got a new pill for my thyroid, a pill for the depression, a pill for the axiety, a pill for my stomach and I still can't eat, I have lost 6 pounds this week. All I want to do is sleep that it, it is so hard to stay awake, I feel like I walk around with my eyes shut and that is without any medication.
My family is worried I understand that but I don't know what to do to fix this. It isn't somethis I caused it was a genuine medical condition that brought all of this on. There are time that I cannot even deal with my kids now because their fighting brings on suck major axiety /panic attacks. They don't understand this, they are just kids. God please help me! I just want to be normal again, please!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

I am so going to do this!

I have so been putting off this post, why you ask? Hmm, let see embarrassment, guilt, shame, just to name a few. I have decided that it is time to get the word out and to get some help and I have also started feeling better and so maybe now I can do something about it. If you have kept up with me at all you know that over the last year to 18 months I have dropped a lot of weight. I went from a size 20 to a size 4-6. Well about a month ago I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and over the past several months I have gained about 20 pounds and needless to say I feel FAT! But more than that I am exhausted. Before I was diagnosed and knew what was wrong I was just tired and just wanted to sleep and sleep I did so not only did I gain weight but I have lost a lot of muscle tone. Last month I finally went to the doctor and he started me on some natural meds to get me back on track. I didn't think they were working, honestly I didn't. I woke up this morning with a spring in my step. I feel guilty that I have aloud this to happen to me but I also know what I have to do about it. I am headed to the track at lunch. I feel like I have been in a cloud for the last several months. Don't get me wrong, my energy level is still way down and I still feel like I could use a nap but I have that thought in my head maybe if I just go for a walk I will feel better so I am going to give it a try, instead of relaying on sugar rushes. I would really appreciate all of your prayers and support. Thanks girls. I think me and my elliptical may even become friends again.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Our Little Tigger!

Our Sleepy Little Tigger!

Tigger and his mommy!

Tigger bouncing with his daddy!

Hayden was so sleepy when we were done and Eli held his hand and sang to him until he fell asleep, how sweet!

Our up and coming surgeons!

Is there anyone else out there that like me gets a free day off of work and has so many ideas about what I'm going to do, only to not get much at all done.

We were closed today because of Veteran's Day. So my brain immediately starts spinning, laundry, get the kids winter stuff out of the storage building, clean the bathroom, lets shoot for the entire house. Before I even got started this morning my Doctor called and was going to call me in a new prescription, great the pharmacy is 35 minutes away there goes at least 1 hour and 10 minutes and that is just driving time. Jordan then reminds me of a ballgame today at noon, there goes another couple of hours. What I did get done today was 3 or 4 loads of laundry, a bath, a ballgame, meds picked up, something to cook for dinner picked up, talked to a girlfriend for about an hour this morning, dishes done, picked the kids up from afterschool computer lab at 4. My day disappeared before my eyes. This I tell ya stunk! Oh, well maybe next time I won't plan anything.
Time for change!

After having this blog for a couple of years now, I thought I would label it something that is more me. When I first opened this I didn't have a clue as to what to call it so now after thinking on it for 2 years it makes perfect sense.

Monday, November 10, 2008

So the end has come!
My daddy is a truck driver and has drove on and off for as long as I can remember. With diesel prices being what they have been my dad stopped driving several months back and opened a mechanic shop across the street from their house which happens to be in our back yard pretty much. Eli (my 8 year old) is especially bonded with his poppy and loves to be out getting dirty and helping him. We live in a really small town and one can only fix so many things before there is nothing left. Long story short dad decided to go back on the road and he left yesterday afternoon. My little man didn't take it so well. Eli stood outside last night and watched daddy leave until he couldn't see his truck anymore. It was so sad! He then started walking towards our house, he had his little head just hanging down and I could tell he was doing his best not to cry but as soon as he saw me that was it my little man lost it. It was so hard to see him like that. I did my best to console him but he wasn't going for it. I told him you know that poppy always come back and through his sniffles told me he knew but he just didn't want him to leave.
My mom called me last night and said that my dad had told her that Eli had said told him that while he was gone that him and Nana was going to piddle in the garage. Dad asked him why they were going to do that. Eli told him that they might just have to fix something. If you know Eli then you know why we find this so incredibly adorable.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Isn't she cute! This little stuff dog means more to me than I can honestly explain. Today she is sitting on my desk here at work, last night I had her on my night stand. My real dog "Shadow" doesn't really know what to think of her, he just sits and stares. I want to give everyone the story behind her. First of all if you try to look her up on the internet her name is Pico we call her Periwinkle, yes she has a name. When my grandma was sick and in the hospital she was always asking about her dog "a little chichuahua named Periwinkle" and her chickens, so my sister found this little critter down in the gift shop and took her to grandma. Grandma sat there with the puppy on her tummy. It was really funny to she her with her there. Grandma wasn't big lady but she had this big tummy and she kept this little guy sitting on ther tummy, I guess so she could see him. After grandma went to be with Jesus they decided to bury Periwinkle (the stuffed Periwinkle) with her. I went with mom and her brother and sisters to the funeral home to make the arangements and I carried this little puppy around the entire time we were there. It was hard for me to leave him there, I don't understand why I just know it was. I told my sister that I wanted to find another one of them to be able to keep and she told me she wanted one too. So last week when I made my weekly Wal-Mart trip I stopped by the hospital to get them. They had 3 of them and I bought them all. People at the counter kept commenting on them and I couldn't bring myself to say anything. It is honestly bittersweet. So I decided last night I needed to get these out and give them to my Mom and my Sister. I asked my Sister if she thought that I should because I really didn't want to make anything harder from Mom. She told me to give it to her and make her promise not to cry when I did. Not, I cried when I bought them. I told mom that I had bought something for her but I didn't want to make her sad or bring her anymore pain. She told me nothing was going to make it worse than it already is. So I pulled Periwinkle out to her bag. Lets just say lots of tears were shed by all included. I honestly wish that I could take that moment back cause I am not so sure I would have given it to her. I also know that she would have eventually seen her at my house and it would have been the same thing, so who knows what I should have done. This littel puppy brings me some kind of comfort, I don't know why and I don't understand it but it does. I just hate seeing my Mom hurt and upset and I upset her last night. I know that her pain is still there and that she just keeps it bottle up so that we don't see it and that hurts because I just want to help her, I want to make her pain cease. I know I can't because I cannot imagine what she is going through. I know that only God and time can make this better. Please remember my Mom and all of her brothers and sisters in your prayers as I am sure that they are all struggling also. My love to you all.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008


After a long 3 weeks and 5 days of fighting for her life grandma was just so tired so she went to be with Jesus this morning at 3:25 a.m. As hard as this is and is going to be my grandma is not in any pain or distress anymore. In the past almost 4 weeks she has been through so much. She has had several surgeries, possible heart attacks, stroke and her heart even stopped at one point. I ask my cousin/brother Mike this morning if this was all going to end this way why did we, why did she have to go through all of this. His response and a very wise one I must admit was we all got to come down and see her again and some needed this time to prepare. So please remember my Mom, her siblings, the grandkids and great-grandkids. My boys have never lost anyone close to them and my husbands grandma died 2 weeks ago today and now we have lost grandma. I just keep reminding them that we will one day see her again, that this is not the end. I just pray that they come through this okay as our youngest has already been having nightmares since Donnie's granmother died. God Bless!

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

My Grandma
At 1:00 am Saturday morning my phone rang but I was so asleep I didn't get to it in time. A few minutes later someone was knocking on my bedroom door(I have an outside door in my bedroom). It really kind of freaked me out but once I kind of came to my senses I realized something was wrong. It was my little sister and she had the baby in her arms. She told me to take him that grandma was at the hospital and that it was bad. She said that mom was there with her but she needed to get up there. I took little man but he refused to go back to sleep so about 2:30ish am we headed to the hospital. When I got there they had grandma on life support. They had said she had a heart attack but there were no ICU beds either there at that hospital or at the neighboring hospital. After about 6 hours or so they made room fo her in the ICU there but we wanted her moved to the other hospital because that is where her doctors are. So around noon or so they moved her to the ICU unit at TMC in Denison. We were then told that grandma was in respiratory and heart failure, she had an infection in her blood, lungs, urine and so on. They also told us that she also had swelling of her brain. On Sunday there was really not much change just that her heart rate was crazy going from 80's to 190's.
I went to work on Monday morning, when I tried to call my mom all I heard was her crying and she finally got on the phone and told me she would call me back. When she called me back she told me that grandma was awake but she didn't know who she was. Obviously my momma was devistated. I left work and went to be with my mom. When I got to the hospital grandma was awake but still on the vent. She was at that point following instruction and acting like she new who we were. Later in the day the took the vent out and she was able to talk to us. She told us she didn't remember anything that had happened(thank you God!). Momma asked her if she knew who she was and grandma said well yea your Becky. She then told momma she loved her and she looked over at me and told me she loved me. I left the room then so my uncle could go in and see her. It wasn't long before my uncle came out of the room and told us that they were putting her back on the vent. Grandma just wasn't able to breathe on her own.
Today the doctors told mom that grandma trachae is swollen and that her vocal cords are paralized. They are going to leave her on the vent until at least Thursday morning. They did start her on liquid feeding today and her vital sign have all been stable.
While mom and I were in the room with my grandma today(remember she is sedated and not suppose to be able to respond to us) mom leaned down to talk into grandma's ear. Grandma's face was turned away from us and mom leaned over and started to say Momma if you can hear me, suddenly grandma turned her head as though she was looking right at mom except her eyes were closed and then she moved her mouth. I think this was grandma's way of letting my mom know she was hearing everything she told her. It was really nice to see her respond like that.
They are now thinking that is wasn't a heart attack but that it was all brought on by her blood pressure. Her blood pressure when they got her to the hospital Friday night was 286/168. With her bp getting so high they said it threw her into congestive heart failure and caused her lungs to fill with fluid which caused her to not be able to breath and things just kind of snow balled after that.
We don't know what the future holds for my grandma but I ask that everyone pray for her. Please pray for my momma too! This is the hardest thing I have ever done. I love my grandma but to watch what my mom is going through hurts so much.
Mom said she asked God yesterday morning on the way to the hospital for him to just give her one more chance to make sure she was ready to meet him if she died and my mom had that yesterday. While grandma was awake mom talked to her about what was going on and she told grandma that she had nearly died on Friday night and that she was still very sick. She told grandma she needed to know if she were to die if she would go to heaven and my grandma started crying and shook her head yes. It will hurt all of us deeply if grandma dies but at least she will meet Jesus.
I really don't honestly know what will happen to my mom if my grandma dies. She sat with me tonight and she said she feels like a little girl and she is not ready to loose her momma.
Please just remember our family in your prayers!

Thursday, August 07, 2008

So much fun!

What a week the boys and I have had. I had to work Monday but have had the rest of the week off. I thought it would be nice to spend some time with them before school starts back next Wednesday. At some points I think that I would love to be able to stay home with them again and then there are times I don't think so. Don't get me wrong I love them but those kids fight like they hate one another sometimes. We got up early Tuesday morning and headed to Gainesville. We started by 2 hours of shopping for school clothes which I was beginning to think was a waste of time until we got to the last store. I got an awesome deal, I don't even remember the name of the store but they carried Lee and Wrangler jeans. I left there with 4 pair of Capri pants for myself, 3 pair denim shorts for Eli, 4 pair denim shorts for Jordan, 2 pair of jeans for Eli, 1 pair of jeans for Jordan and 1 top for myself. I got all of that for right at $110.00. I didn't pay over $9.99 for anything. I was ecstatic because for one my boys have this tummy that is kind of hard to fit for denim but I found all of that for them and what a deal. Last year I just bought elastic waist shorts from Wal-Mart and they cost more than these shorts.
We then went to the Frank Buck Zoo and boy was it hot! I think it was 104 degrees there. I was sweating like mad and of course the kids are running around like O' Mom it not that hot. Huh! So when we finally make our way through the zoo we of course had to ride the train, which I might add turned out pretty nice because there was a breeze. For any of you that have ever been to the Frank Buck Zoo you know that there is this awesome playground there. So guess what we did next, that’s right we had to go play. Generally I love this kind of thing but on Tuesday it was just way to hot. So I let them play for about 30 minutes and told them if we left we would stop off for ice cream on our way home. Bingo you can win them over with that every time. All in all we did have a good day just quite hot.

Eli on the train
Jordan on the train

The boys on the train

Yesterday we spent the day at home doing laundry and cleaning up the house, riding 4 wheelers, jumping on the trampoline and just a little bit of work I had to squeeze in for the Dr's office.

Today we got up and I did a bunch of laundry. Donnie called at 11:30 and we headed to Sherman to meet him for lunch. We were to meet him at Chick-Fil-A but guess what after the kids and I get there and order I tried and tried to call him and never could get him on the phone. We ate our lunch and as we were finishing up he finally called. He had gotten caught up and forgot we were coming. I was so aggravated but being the nice person I can be I sacked his lunch up and took it over to him.

The kids and I then stopped at the pool. I got in for a bit but then found myself a chair and got my book out. After a while I was burning up again, it was so hot, so I got back in. When I got out I moved my chair under a Cabana and thought I would be protected from the sun. Boy was I wrong when I went in to change my clothes my face, arms and chest were so blistered. I guess 4 hours it just a bit much but it was so nice not having to tell the boys don't fight, stop that, go play. I set in my chair with my book and not having to worry about anything. I mean of course I checked on them quite often but there was no fighting or anything just 4 hours of complete relaxation, oh except I time when I seen Jordan go down the slide but never seen him come up. I apparently missed that there were 2 places were you can get out of the pool from the slide. I was really fixing to freak when I spotted him off to the side. Anyway that has been our week. Tomorrow we are going to the vet and bowling. Saturday we are hurricane harbor bound.

Hope you have all had as much fun with your kiddos this week as I have had with mine.

So as I was finishing this up Eli comes running in the room with his finger wrapped in a towel. "Mom I cut my finger". I opened it up and boy did he cut his finger. I wrapped it back up and took him across the street to my mom's. Mom and my sister are both nurses, mom works for a surgeon and Angie works for our pediatrician. Angie opened it up and was like Oh boy he needs some stitches. My thought was crap I can't afford this. With our new insurance our ER deductable is $1500.00 who can afford this. So mom had her hold pressure on it for 10 minutes to get the bleeding stopped. During this time they decided they would just super glue it together and Steri-Strip it. Mom said Derma bond and super glue was the same thing so they'd try it. Thank God it worked. I just hope it stays together. This kid is a toughie he never even cried at all. Life is full of surprises!

Saturday, August 02, 2008

I just wanted to update everyone on my Aunt Mary. She started her chemotherapy and radiation therapy on this past Thursday. She will be having radiation 5 days a week for 6 weeks and she is taking chemo by mouth daily and also she will be recieving chemo intraveneously every 21 days, I believe. The chemo will also be for 6 weeks. She will then be scheduled for surgery sometime in November.

We got to see her today and she looked sick but better than I expected. The treatment have made her extremely sick and with the mass where it is she is having trouble going to the bathroom which in turn makes her sick. The treatments are also throwing her blood sugar all over the place, she is a diabetic. She is in good spirits though trying to make everyone feel better and letting everyone know that she is okay and would continue to be okay. Her husband Scott is just wonderful. Her son got married today and Scott sat through the entire wedding fanning her. That I tell ya made me want to cry. Mom told him as we were leaving "you take good care of my sister" Scott's reply was I have to she is my wife and this was said with all the love in the world. My aunt Mary and Scott's marraige all kind of blew us away because Scott is 20 years or so younger than her but we could always tell they loved one another. Seeing him with her now just has shown us exactly how much. I am so glad she has him.

Mom is coping some better or she is at least dealing better in front of people. I think it has helped her being able to see Mary the past 2 weekends.

We appreciate all of your prayer for my Aunt Mary and my Mom.

Friday, July 25, 2008

I use this word in every sense that you can. There has been an all out attack on our family. So much is happening that we just cannot understand. I wish there was button I could push or a wand I could wave to make everything better. I the need to fix everything and I cannot fix this and I hate it. I hate feeling powerless!
My mom sister was diagnosed with rectal cancer almost 2 weeks ago. She seen her oncologist for the first time yesterday and they feel that this is a secondary cancer and that she has a primary cancer somewhere else in her body. It makes me want to scream, I just want to know why. Why does this terrible disease keep raging? Why is it taking all of the people we love? What has she done for something like this to be happening? I just don't understand. My aunt is honestly in really good spirits. She is probably doing better than anyone around her. We prayed so hard believing that the biopsy would be negative and that this would not be cancer. But for some reason it was anyway. I just don't understand why these prayers were unanswered. My mom is a wreck and it is so hard seeing her this way. My mom lost her daddy to cancer 14 years ago and she feels like she is reliving it all again. I think the hardest part is seeing my mom not have any hope. You see she works for a general surgeon and she says that they tell people on a weekly basis that they have this horifying disease. Since finding out about Mary she says it is so hard to do what they have to at work. My mom is the strongest person I have ever met, she is an amazing woman. But mostly my mom loves God with her entire being. Right now she is at the point where she doesn't understand why God didn't answer her prayer, why he didn't do something. She feels like if he didn't answer her prayers the first time why would he now. She sees this stuff all the time and she feels hopeless. I so believe that God will do something although I too don't understand why he hasn't yet. I mean what is he waiting on. Cancer is the cruelest disease known to mankind. Knowing what is does and can do terrifies me. I feel so incredibly sad. My heart breaks for my Aunt Mary and also for Mom. I love them both so much and watching them go through this is heartwrenching. I just want to fix this so that they are not hurting anymore. If I could take their burdens I would do it in a minute, it would all be worth it to not see them in such pain, desperation. Our family is going through so much right now would you please just lift us up in prayer.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

I have recieved a couple of awesome blessings this morning and it's only 9:49 a.m. I woke up to my phone beeping at me, text message. When I opened it what did I see "Graduation tomorrow! Oh My Goodness I miss you". It was from Bethany what a wonderful way to start the day. I of course text her back and told I couldn't wait for her to get home, that I missed her like crazy and that I love her. Later after I get to work I got another message which said "I love you too!" My work phone rings a little bit later it was our baby girl, for the first time since April I got to talk to Bethany. It was so good to hear from her, we talked for 15 minutes which went by way to quickly. She told me that she couldn't wait to get home and that she misses her family. She told me she was hoping she would get home sometime Saturday and that she would be joining us in church on Sunday. I cannot wait for her to get here I miss her so much. I believe when she comes in we are going to have to go out and have some much needed girl time. Donnie and the boys are leaving for church camp on Sunday so that won't be hard to do at all.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Free Stuff I love it!
They were having a drawing yesterday on the local news channel, all you had to do was e-mail the your name, phone number and the town you live in. My sister did this and she won a $50.00 coupon for the new firework store. She called me early this morning and told me they were doing it again so I sent in mine and my hubbies. I didn't win but he did. I am so glad we have these now we get to burn someone else's money this year instead of ours!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

I did it and I love it!

I have been struggling with my hair for a very long time. After I had my hysterectomy in November it started falling out by the handfull. I honestly thought I was going to go bald, seriously. It has just looked bad since, it just hangs there or I put it up in a clip and it is so thin now. Thin hair is not something I am use to at all. I have always had very thick hair. My hair has always been my pride especially the bigger my body got. I had this mind set that at least my hair was pretty. Well my hair was no longer pretty so I cut it all off. I also had it colored for the first time in my entire life and I love it. My sister in law own a hair salon and offered to do it for me. I got a great deal too. She cut it and put 2 colors on it and only charged me $35.00, talk about blown away I was expecting at least $80.00 or more. I mean it did take 2 hours. I'll have to send her a gift certificate or something cause she wouldn't take anymore money. Thank you Angie I really appreciate it!

Her is a picture of my sister and myself last month

and here I am yesterday.

So what do you think? I love this although I do wish I had gone just a little bit shorter.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

As many of you will recall our daughter Bethany joined the National Guards back in March. She left for basic training in early May, but before that we had a huge falling out and to much avail we never could get her to come home or even talk to us on the phone. It has broke my heart that this has happened and I have sent her e-mails letting her know that we just want to put this behind us and have our relationship with her healed. We have not heard from her since the early part of April. I have kept up with her through her brother but as can imagine that is just not what a parent wants.
I was going about my daily routine this morning and stopped at the post office and there it was, it was like receiving a million bucks. A letter from our very own "Private Rucker", the people in the post office probably thought I was nuts because I just starting sobbing. Bethany is doing well, she says she is not having a hard time with anything but the push ups. She said that she really feels like she is where she is suppose to be, she sent her love to all but that's not all she apologized. I just want to grab her and love her. I miss her terribly. Bethany and I never agreed on her going into the National Guards. Although my children may grow up and choose a field that scares me to death they will always be my children and my love for them will never change. I thank God for that letter, for my daughter and for the courage it took for her to have put herself in this place.
I say that I never agreed with Bethany joining the national guards to say this. While vacationing with the boys in Tennessee we went through this museum type thing that had a bunch of Civil War reenactments and such. That I would say was an life altering event for me. I wanted to jump on a plane and go to South Carolina that very moment and talk to my daughter. I could for just a minute see why it is that people join the military. I still don't like the fact that it is my kid that has done it but I do now at least understand. Tonight I will be writing Bethany a letter please pray that God will guide my words as to heal our relationship. I love her and I just want things back like they should be. My love to all!

Monday, May 26, 2008

I know it has been over a month since I last posted. I have had a lot going on in my life. I will share more with you later. We got in from Memphis at 12:30 this morning and I am trying to get laundry and stuff caught up. We had a really good time. The kids really enjoyed themselves. I will share more with you later. I have over 1000 pictures and video. What did we do before digital camara's. I know we never would have bought that much film. I must go work now so that I will get a check this week. This picture is of the boys and I sitting in front of the Mississppi River on Saturday and boys was it hot. We weren't going to go until next month but I am glad we changed our plans.

This is of Jordan and Eli playing at Mud Island at the River Walk.

I got this poem in a e-mail and was pretty umm... I don't know wowed by it. So I thought that I would share it with all of you.


I knelt to pray but not for long, I had too much to do. I had to hurry and get to work, for bills would soon be due. So I knelt and said a hurried prayer, and jumped up off my knees. My Christian duty was now done. My soul could rest at ease.....

All day long I had no time to spread a word of cheer. No time to speak of Christ to friends, they'd laugh at me I'd fear. No time, no time, too much to do, that was my constant cry. No time to give to souls in need but at last the time, the time to die.

I went before the Lord, I came, I stood with downcast eyes. For in his hands God held a book;It was the book of life. God looked into his book and said Your name I cannot find I once was going to write it down...

"But never found the time"

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

I finally did it!!
I honestly didn't think it was possible but it finally happened. I have weighed the same for what seems like forever. I got on the scales today and they screamed at me 129. I have wanted to get under 130 pounds so bad and just couldn't. I have never been this small in my adult life, it is absolutely amazing. I took Jordan to the Dr. today and when they weighed him he told me if I worked a little harder we could weigh the same. I just had to laugh at him. I told him I didn't think I needed to weight 108 pounds.. It was really cute!

Thursday, March 20, 2008


I don't even know where to start. As most of you know my husband has an 18 year old daughter, her name is Bethany. Bethany came into my life when she was only 5 years old. So as you can imagine as the years has gone we have became not only by marraige but by building a relationship mother and daughter. Bethany turned 18 in January and the fun really began. I hope you can hear the sarcasm in my voice. She had literally turned into this kid that we don't recognize anymore. Okay so I know that I wasn't the easiest child to raise and that I nearly gave my parent a heart attack when I married my husband whom already had 2 children when I was only 19 but I promise you I was listening to God. I mean look at us 11 1/2 years later. We are doing wonderfully and love each other more than we did then. I see Bethany running with the wrong kids, doing things I never would have dreamed of. Then she sends me a text message last Friday(here is the kicker) she wants to know what I think about her joining the National Guards. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR First off all of my kids know where mamma stands on this, they don't have to ask. Secondly she don't really want to know she just want to get my blood to boiling. So anyway we end up in a very heated discussion while I am still at work no less that continues all the way through my grocery shopping trip. I finally calm down and pray about this situation and realize nothing I can say to this child will ever change what she is going to do. I sent her an e-mail letting her know that I really thought she needed to pray about this. I also told her that no matter what her decision that I wanted her to know that I would always be there for her because I love her so very much. I may not have carried that kid in my womb but I will forever carry her in my heart. She has since done her best to convince me that this is the best thing for her and there is nothing I can do to change her mind. She is going next week to get her physical and sign the final papers. It breaks my heart that she is doing this but I know that I can't do anything to stop it.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I wanted to share this picture of Hayden with all of you. I had just given him a bath which by the way he absolutley loves and I was holding him out in front of me talking to him and he was looking back at me right in the eyes just smiling. It is probably one of my favorite picture there is. It is just one of those special moment. Hayden and I have gotten so close and have gotten such a special bond. I just love him so much.

Ahh, sweet baby!! (please ignore the yuck wrinkled skin on my face, I have a lot of excess skin since my weight loss).
My how we have grown!

This picture was taken the day after Hayden was born!

This was was taken a couple of weeks ago!

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Just a quiet Saturday night at home or so I thought!
The boys were watching cartoons in their room, Bethany was at work, Donnie was at a board meeting at the church, Brenton had just left to go to a ball game at Rock Creek and I was just fixing to make dinner. I was then going to work on my transcription stuff so I wouldn't have to mess with it today. I had the hardest time deciding what to cook and finally choose chicken and rice(the little boys favorite). I was browning the rice when the phone rang. I was by this time of the day so irritated by the phone, it had done nothing but rang all day, but I was thinking at least the house isn't full of 7 year olds anymore. When I answered it my heart sank. It was our oldest son Brenton and his voice was so shakey, I could tell he was trying not to cry. He said Bev I am okay but we have been in a wreck but I'm okay. He is so much like his daddy in this area, he was trying to protect me and play it off like he was fine. I asked him if he was sure he was okay he said he was alright but that his collar bone was hurting. He wanted to know if he needed to call an ambulance. I ask him how bad it was and he said it wasn't that bad. I told him I was on my way. I turned dinner off and hollered at chris and told him Brent had been in a wreck and ask him to watch the boys. I don't know what I was thinking or how it even worked but I was driving down the road talking to my mom on our house phone. I called his Donnie and told him what was going on and he said he would meet me there. It seemed like it took me forever to get to him. I couldn't drive fast enough and in the dark it was worse. When I finally got there, all I seen was all these flashing lights. Can you say adrenaline? I had to park a little ways back away from the site so I took off running toward the cars and the first thing I see is a little ford focus with the front all bashed in and the passenger side windsheild busted. I told the officer I was looking for my son, he told me he was up there in a police car but he was fine. He also told me not to run because they had to wet the road down and didn't want me to fall. I then seen this kid of mine emerge from all of these flashing lights but instead of this 5 foot 8 nearly grown stature I see this 3 year old. He at that point was like that baby boy not so rough and gruff. He was obviously injured. The fireman told me he thought that his collar bone was broken. We were walking away and I hear his name being called rather quietly. It was his little lady Kassie. What a way to meet the parents, huh? After speaking to Kassie and her mom for a minute, and just telling each other how grateful we were that our children were still alive(did I mention that this was a head-on collision) and how vehicle can be replaced, we went and got in the van. I told him how pretty I thought Kassie was and I meant every word I wasn't just trying to make him feel better. Brenton and I met up with Donnie a couple of miles down the road and brought his car home as it was on our way to the hospital. In the light you could look at his collar bone and see that is was broken, didn't need an x-ray for that. He was and is in so much pain. We took him on over to the hospital and they were really good about taking him in ahead of everyone else. But they made him wait until after they did a head CT to give him any pain meds. I told Donnie while Brenton was back there having the CT done I said how many teeth is that tech gonna have missing when he gets back. Brent's not a mean kid but he was hurting so bad and they were moving him around and wouldn't do anything to help his pain. Brent was good and the guy didn't loose any teeth. He does however have a broken collar bone, it is also displaced so we have to go see an orthopedic surgeon this week. They said his CT was fine but I still think he has a consusion. Kassie broke her wrist and had to get 5 stitches in her leg. Please remeber these kids in your prayers as they are healing and I will update you with anything new as we find out with Brenton. I thank God that he has his hands on my kids, I don't know why Satan is trying to take them from me but I refuse to let them go. We gave them to God a long time ago and believe that he will see them through. God Bless you all.
As many of you know I am the city clerk and court clerk here in the town we live. So with that come this stupid police radio that sits on my desk. I hate this thing and I never use it, I just have to leave it on. Well anyway Friday I had to go around 1 pm or so and get a shot for a migraine and then I went back to work. This stupid radio talks all the time its all of bryan county, grayson county, fire dept, ems, you know all that stuff. I usually just tune it out but I was feeling unusually ditsy (drugged) Friday and I sitting there at my desk and I hear a familiar name come across this thing and then he spells it. I look up at the cop sitting across the room from me and just as nonchalontly as can be say I bet my kid is in that car because that is her best friend. He said sweetie you do realize that was an accident don't you. OH MY GOODNESS NO I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT WAS ACCIDENT!!! ARE YOU CRAZY, DO YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD BE SITTING HERE LIKE THIS IF I DID. Then to top it off because I just wasn't my self I couldn't find my cellphone so I could call her. So when I finally got ahold of myself I found my phone. She answers her phone so calmly. I was like Bethany where are you, she said with Deanna and I cut her off I was like are you okay I know you were just in an accident. You know my kids have to hate the fact that I have all of that first hand information. Well needless to say she was floored, why should she be shocked! She should expect those things. Thank God everyone was okay. It didn't even hurt the truck they hit. My theory (now that I am the parent and not the kid) teenager and vehicle don't mix. Did I mention since August this is the 5th accident for our family. Mom, Jordan, Eli and myself were rear ended in Dallas, Mom got whiplash and the rest of us were fine. Brenton was in a motorcycle accident in September and ripped is arm open, he had to have stitches. Bethany total her car in October, she walked away fine praise the Lord. In December Donnie and I were coming home from church one Sunday night and a deer took out the whole front end of his little toyota tercel. Then Friday Bethany is riding home from school with some friends and bam Deanna pulls out and hits a pick up. What in the world is going on. I have no clue! But I do know that I serve a MIGHTY GOD WHO HAS IT ALL IN CONTROL.

Monday, February 04, 2008


So I knew Eli wasn't feeling well yesterday and I thought he may be running a low temp but he was still running around and playing like normal. We get up for school this morning and Eli gets up and comes over to give mommy a hug and I could tell he was warm. I got the thermometer out and sure enough he temp was almost 102. You must understand this child doesn't run a fever, we often say he must be half dead if he has a fever. It must happen today when there is no way I could take off of work. I work for the city and today was traffic court, thankfully his daddy is working nights right now so he could stay home but it was getting him to the pediatrician. Well daddy go up at lunch and took him over to the pediatrician, I honestly thought it was a sinus infection. My co-worker came over and whispered in my ear during court Eli has the flu and your sister said make sure to keep him away from the baby. Great a seven year old with the flu and trying to keep him away from a seven week old this is going to be real fun. When I came in tonight from work guess what Jordan doesn't fell good he sound just like Eli did yesterday. Sounds like the fun is just begining. Just please pray that the baby doesn't catch this and that the boys recover quickly!

Monday, January 14, 2008


I know it's been a long while but I thought I'd give an update on how things are going. My weight loss is going extremely well I weigh between 132-135 depending on the day never know what the scales are going to say or what causes the change. I cannot wait for some nicer weather outside so I can start going to the track again and I really think despite what my hubby said I am going to look into a weight set. I have all this nasty gross jiggling hanging skin and surely I can tighten some of that up with some toning exercises and muscle gain. I still cannot believe this is my body. I purchased the first pair of size 4 I have ever bought and or wore in my entire life the other day. That felt absolutely amazing. Donnie and I went to a New Years Party at his job and I bought them for that. They fit better than any pants I've ever put on before and I couldn't believe that they were a size 4. I have never wore that size not even growing up. Can you scream amazed. I sure can. Well anyways enough about that. Love to all.
House Guest!!

It's been way to long I know and I don't even know where to start. First off this is our last week as just our little family by the end of the week we will have grown by three, yep that's right three. Hey it could be worse they could triplets. I guess I should explain, We have invited my Cousin Lindsay(the one who had the precious little baby last month), her hubby Chris, and their baby Hayden to come live with us for a while. We have an enclosed garage that I used to use when I was doing daycare here but have since been using it for storage since I don't do daycare anymore and my husband children use half of it when they come for over to visit. So I just bunk thier beds in the boys rooms and put my stuff out in the storage shed, moved the 4-wheelers out of the shed to my dad garage behing our house and threw a bunch of stuff away. So now we are set for them to move in this coming weekend. Oh and adjust to life with a baby in the house again. I am kind of excited about that part. Since we can't have anymore babies of our own we can have loads of fun with this one. On a more serious note I figure since I get up about the time the baby gets up for his 2nd night time feeding I would take over that one if his mommy wanted me too so she could only have to do 1 at night and get more than 3 straight hours of sleep.
Donnie just went back on night shift so it will be nice to have someone here in the evenings to talk to besides the kids. My kids have gotten to the point where they just want to play until they are made to come in and bath and go to bed anyway, so when he works night I am alone. Pathetic huh!