For those wondering I do not feel like a zombie today. I am almost terrified to even write this. My stomach is feeling some better, I have taking in about 2 ounces of water thus far today which is probably more than I took in all day yesterday. I hope I am on the up side of this, now if I could just kick this nasty sinus stuff. Yuck and my mouth is soooo dry. Don't mean to sound whiny sorry. On a lighter note we are getting a new baby, no me we but my cousin we. Of course she is terrified as this was not planned, but I have assured her that we are there for her to help her in any way that we can. I of course am really excited what is better than a brand new baby!
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Where did this come from and please let it go!!!! Depair, Darkness, Depression, Saddness, Hopelessness, Terrified, Unknown, Unworthy, Pain, Why me, Anger and those are to just name a few. As you can see this is not going to be one of those happy go luck post, in fact I don't even know wy I am doing this here. I have to get this out and I figure here better than some of the other places it could go. I am not doing this for your sympathy, disapproval, approval, opinion, or anything else. If you want to encourage me than that fine but I can't handle much else right now. Last week I knew something was really out of wack I would be literally burning up and freezing at the same time. I could cry at the drop of a hat and I couldn't eat anything, it was 4 days before I had realized I hadn't had anything to eat. So I made the dreaded appointment with the ole Dr. That morning I told one of my co-workers I thought I was going crazy. She just kindof laughed me off and told me ...
I am so going to do this! I have so been putting off this post, why you ask? Hmm, let see embarrassment, guilt, shame, just to name a few. I have decided that it is time to get the word out and to get some help and I have also started feeling better and so maybe now I can do something about it. If you have kept up with me at all you know that over the last year to 18 months I have dropped a lot of weight. I went from a size 20 to a size 4-6. Well about a month ago I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and over the past several months I have gained about 20 pounds and needless to say I feel FAT! But more than that I am exhausted. Before I was diagnosed and knew what was wrong I was just tired and just wanted to sleep and sleep I did so not only did I gain weight but I have lost a lot of muscle tone. Last month I finally went to the doctor and he started me on some natural meds to get me back on track. I didn't think they were working, honestly I didn't. I woke up this morn...
Is there anyone else out there that like me gets a free day off of work and has so many ideas about what I'm going to do, only to not get much at all done. We were closed today because of Veteran's Day. So my brain immediately starts spinning, laundry, get the kids winter stuff out of the storage building, clean the bathroom, lets shoot for the entire house. Before I even got started this morning my Doctor called and was going to call me in a new prescription, great the pharmacy is 35 minutes away there goes at least 1 hour and 10 minutes and that is just driving time. Jordan then reminds me of a ballgame today at noon, there goes another couple of hours. What I did get done today was 3 or 4 loads of laundry, a bath, a ballgame, meds picked up, something to cook for dinner picked up, talked to a girlfriend for about an hour this morning, dishes done, picked the kids up from afterschool computer lab at 4. My day disappeared before my eyes. This I tell ya stunk! Oh, well ...
So the end has come! My daddy is a truck driver and has drove on and off for as long as I can remember. With diesel prices being what they have been my dad stopped driving several months back and opened a mechanic shop across the street from their house which happens to be in our back yard pretty much. Eli (my 8 year old) is especially bonded with his poppy and loves to be out getting dirty and helping him. We live in a really small town and one can only fix so many things before there is nothing left. Long story short dad decided to go back on the road and he left yesterday afternoon. My little man didn't take it so well. Eli stood outside last night and watched daddy leave until he couldn't see his truck anymore. It was so sad! He then started walking towards our house, he had his little head just hanging down and I could tell he was doing his best not to cry but as soon as he saw me that was it my little man lost it. It was so hard to see him like that. I did my best to co...
Memories! Isn't she cute! This little stuff dog means more to me than I can honestly explain. Today she is sitting on my desk here at work, last night I had her on my night stand. My real dog "Shadow" doesn't really know what to think of her, he just sits and stares. I want to give everyone the story behind her. First of all if you try to look her up on the internet her name is Pico we call her Periwinkle, yes she has a name. When my grandma was sick and in the hospital she was always asking about her dog "a little chichuahua named Periwinkle" and her chickens, so my sister found this little critter down in the gift shop and took her to grandma. Grandma sat there with the puppy on her tummy. It was really funny to she her with her there. Grandma wasn't big lady but she had this big tummy and she kept this little guy sitting on ther tummy, I guess so she could see him. After grandma went to be with Jesus they decided to bury Periwinkle (the stuffed Periw...
Homesick After a long 3 weeks and 5 days of fighting for her life grandma was just so tired so she went to be with Jesus this morning at 3:25 a.m. As hard as this is and is going to be my grandma is not in any pain or distress anymore. In the past almost 4 weeks she has been through so much. She has had several surgeries, possible heart attacks, stroke and her heart even stopped at one point. I ask my cousin/brother Mike this morning if this was all going to end this way why did we, why did she have to go through all of this. His response and a very wise one I must admit was we all got to come down and see her again and some needed this time to prepare. So please remember my Mom, her siblings, the grandkids and great-grandkids. My boys have never lost anyone close to them and my husbands grandma died 2 weeks ago today and now we have lost grandma. I just keep reminding them that we will one day see her again, that this is not the end. I just pray that they come through this okay as our...
My Grandma At 1:00 am Saturday morning my phone rang but I was so asleep I didn't get to it in time. A few minutes later someone was knocking on my bedroom door(I have an outside door in my bedroom). It really kind of freaked me out but once I kind of came to my senses I realized something was wrong. It was my little sister and she had the baby in her arms. She told me to take him that grandma was at the hospital and that it was bad. She said that mom was there with her but she needed to get up there. I took little man but he refused to go back to sleep so about 2:30ish am we headed to the hospital. When I got there they had grandma on life support. They had said she had a heart attack but there were no ICU beds either there at that hospital or at the neighboring hospital. After about 6 hours or so they made room fo her in the ICU there but we wanted her moved to the other hospital because that is where her doctors are. So around noon or so they moved her to the ICU unit at TMC in ...
So much fun! What a week the boys and I have had. I had to work Monday but have had the rest of the week off. I thought it would be nice to spend some time with them before school starts back next Wednesday. At some points I think that I would love to be able to stay home with them again and then there are times I don't think so. Don't get me wrong I love them but those kids fight like they hate one another sometimes. We got up early Tuesday morning and headed to Gainesville. We started by 2 hours of shopping for school clothes which I was beginning to think was a waste of time until we got to the last store. I got an awesome deal, I don't even remember the name of the store but they carried Lee and Wrangler jeans. I left there with 4 pair of Capri pants for myself, 3 pair denim shorts for Eli, 4 pair denim shorts for Jordan, 2 pair of jeans for Eli, 1 pair of jeans for Jordan and 1 top for myself. I got all of that for right at $110.00. I didn't pay over $9.99 for anyt...
I just wanted to update everyone on my Aunt Mary. She started her chemotherapy and radiation therapy on this past Thursday. She will be having radiation 5 days a week for 6 weeks and she is taking chemo by mouth daily and also she will be recieving chemo intraveneously every 21 days, I believe. The chemo will also be for 6 weeks. She will then be scheduled for surgery sometime in November. We got to see her today and she looked sick but better than I expected. The treatment have made her extremely sick and with the mass where it is she is having trouble going to the bathroom which in turn makes her sick. The treatments are also throwing her blood sugar all over the place, she is a diabetic. She is in good spirits though trying to make everyone feel better and letting everyone know that she is okay and would continue to be okay. Her husband Scott is just wonderful. Her son got married today and Scott sat through the entire wedding fanning her. That I tell ya made me want to cry...
Overload! I use this word in every sense that you can. There has been an all out attack on our family. So much is happening that we just cannot understand. I wish there was button I could push or a wand I could wave to make everything better. I the need to fix everything and I cannot fix this and I hate it. I hate feeling powerless! My mom sister was diagnosed with rectal cancer almost 2 weeks ago. She seen her oncologist for the first time yesterday and they feel that this is a secondary cancer and that she has a primary cancer somewhere else in her body. It makes me want to scream, I just want to know why. Why does this terrible disease keep raging? Why is it taking all of the people we love? What has she done for something like this to be happening? I just don't understand. My aunt is honestly in really good spirits. She is probably doing better than anyone around her. We prayed so hard believing that the biopsy would be negative and that this would not be cancer. But for some r...
BLESSINGS! I have recieved a couple of awesome blessings this morning and it's only 9:49 a.m. I woke up to my phone beeping at me, text message. When I opened it what did I see "Graduation tomorrow! Oh My Goodness I miss you". It was from Bethany what a wonderful way to start the day. I of course text her back and told I couldn't wait for her to get home, that I missed her like crazy and that I love her. Later after I get to work I got another message which said "I love you too!" My work phone rings a little bit later it was our baby girl, for the first time since April I got to talk to Bethany. It was so good to hear from her, we talked for 15 minutes which went by way to quickly. She told me that she couldn't wait to get home and that she misses her family. She told me she was hoping she would get home sometime Saturday and that she would be joining us in church on Sunday. I cannot wait for her to get here I miss her so much. I believe when ...
Free Stuff I love it! They were having a drawing yesterday on the local news channel, all you had to do was e-mail the your name, phone number and the town you live in. My sister did this and she won a $50.00 coupon for the new firework store. She called me early this morning and told me they were doing it again so I sent in mine and my hubbies. I didn't win but he did. I am so glad we have these now we get to burn someone else's money this year instead of ours!
I did it and I love it! I have been struggling with my hair for a very long time. After I had my hysterectomy in November it started falling out by the handfull. I honestly thought I was going to go bald, seriously. It has just looked bad since, it just hangs there or I put it up in a clip and it is so thin now. Thin hair is not something I am use to at all. I have always had very thick hair. My hair has always been my pride especially the bigger my body got. I had this mind set that at least my hair was pretty. Well my hair was no longer pretty so I cut it all off. I also had it colored for the first time in my entire life and I love it. My sister in law own a hair salon and offered to do it for me. I got a great deal too. She cut it and put 2 colors on it and only charged me $35.00, talk about blown away I was expecting at least $80.00 or more. I mean it did take 2 hours. I'll have to send her a gift certificate or something cause she wouldn't take anymore money. Thank you An...
Bethany! As many of you will recall our daughter Bethany joined the National Guards back in March. She left for basic training in early May, but before that we had a huge falling out and to much avail we never could get her to come home or even talk to us on the phone. It has broke my heart that this has happened and I have sent her e-mails letting her know that we just want to put this behind us and have our relationship with her healed. We have not heard from her since the early part of April. I have kept up with her through her brother but as can imagine that is just not what a parent wants. I was going about my daily routine this morning and stopped at the post office and there it was, it was like receiving a million bucks. A letter from our very own "Private Rucker", the people in the post office probably thought I was nuts because I just starting sobbing. Bethany is doing well, she says she is not having a hard time with anything but the push ups. She said that she real...
I know it has been over a month since I last posted. I have had a lot going on in my life. I will share more with you later. We got in from Memphis at 12:30 this morning and I am trying to get laundry and stuff caught up. We had a really good time. The kids really enjoyed themselves. I will share more with you later. I have over 1000 pictures and video. What did we do before digital camara's. I know we never would have bought that much film. I must go work now so that I will get a check this week. This picture is of the boys and I sitting in front of the Mississppi River on Saturday and boys was it hot. We weren't going to go until next month but I am glad we changed our plans. This is of Jordan and Eli playing at Mud Island at the River Walk.
I got this poem in a e-mail and was pretty umm... I don't know wowed by it. So I thought that I would share it with all of you. Time... I knelt to pray but not for long, I had too much to do. I had to hurry and get to work, for bills would soon be due. So I knelt and said a hurried prayer, and jumped up off my knees. My Christian duty was now done. My soul could rest at ease..... All day long I had no time to spread a word of cheer. No time to speak of Christ to friends, they'd laugh at me I'd fear. No time, no time, too much to do, that was my constant cry. No time to give to souls in need but at last the time, the time to die. I went before the Lord, I came, I stood with downcast eyes. For in his hands God held a book;It was the book of life. God looked into his book and said Your name I cannot find I once was going to write it down... "But never found the time"