Healing

Did you know that healing is very painful? I always knew that physical healing was painful, yes it always hurts for a while before a wound heals.  What I never knew it was that spiritual and emotional healing is also very painful.  I have come to find that this is very painful in so many ways.  I have learned that severing relationships that hinder my life is painful but necessary.  I have learned that God is still there when I try but still end up landing on my face.  I have learned that God uses his people in ways that even blow my mind.  I mean there are people that I don't see on a daily basis and have no idea what's going on him my life who all of a sudden know the exact words that need to be spoken at the right time.

Did you know that Satan is watching you? He does, he sits and watches our lives and then BOOM just like that he sees a vulnerable spot and he jumps on it. Sometimes we don't even realized that this has happened.  I speak about this from personal experience I just didn't realize at the time this was what was happening.  How could I have missed it? I mean I was a Christian!  I have learned that just because I am a Christian and love God doesn't mean I am above falling into satan's trap. In fact I am more vulnerable to it than those who don't live their lives for God.  I have also learned that I cannot lose this fight unless I quit. 

There have been times where I have wanted to just quit.  I thought if I could just quit the pain would go away.  I wouldn't be able to let anyone down because you can't let people down if they don't expect anything of you.  I was so wrong!  I will never quit and while I may let people down I have learned that even when I fall my heavenly father is there to catch me as long as I allow him to.

This week I came to a place where I just decided to let go, I let go of everything! I couldn't carry it anymore, I have to allow God to carry this because it is just to heavy for me.  When I finally came to this place it was like wow, why did I try for so long to carry this, why didn't I just let him have it.  God must have a plan because I don't think Satan fights people like he has me if he didn't think God has a plan.  You see since I realized that I wasn't walking the life that God would have me to and have decided that I want all he has for my life and want to do, go and be what he want me to do, go and be things have been a struggle.  A major struggle, but everytime things would get to the point where they were just almost bigger than I could handle God would use someone to lift me back from the breaking poing.

I know a lot of this probably don't make sense to many but I had to just get it off of my mind so I can get some work done.  I am not a quiter.  I am in fact a survivor.  Beyond being a survivor I am a child of the King which makes him a princess!

Oh and the coolest thing happened!  With face book having evolved I have many people that I went to high school with on it.  Well the other day a friend that I haven't spoken with since we were in lamaze with our first babies who are 13 now sent me a message.  I thought cool, it would be nice to get back in contact with her. I mean she was a really good friend and a sweetheart.  As I reached a place that I seriously just wanted to quit my chat box on face book popped up and it was her.  She said she didn't know why but I had just been on her heart and she didn't know why but she knew something was wrong and we talked for a very long time.  She helped me see things in a different light and was such a blessing.  It was exactly what I needed when I needed it.  I thank God for her and I thank her for allowing God to use her.  Things like this still blow my mind when God does them.  I mean how could she know I needed her, we hadn't spoken in 13 years.  God is just amazing!!!

Healing hurts but I know a man that can take all that hurt away! Thank you God for loving me enough!

Comments

Anonymous said…
Amen!

Love ya,
Debbie Sanders
10:49 AM
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