Facebook! Great resource for keeping up with family and friends from all over yet so time consuming. I have been feeling God leading me to take a Facebook break or timeout but today he clearly spoke to me that it was time. It's time for me to concentrate on him and not what all my friend may or may not be doing. I will probably begin posting here more frequently not as a way of staying in the know but a way of journaling. I love to journal and now that life seems to falling back in his plan I feel that I can.
Posts
Unconditional Love! I know it has been a very long time since I put anything on here but I was tired of how depressing it was and just began journaling instead and then I didn't want to put anything on here that I couldn't live up to. You know the whole try and fall on your face thing is easier to take if no one knows! Since I last posted I completely turned into someone that no one knew, not even myself. I have never been in such a scary place in my life. I turned my back on God and for a season I really became very lost and never thought I would find myself(I never did). By July last year my marriage was all but over. It was as dead as I felt. I no longer felt lovable and had completely shut everyone out of my life including my husband, parents, sister and my kids. As mentioned in my previous post I had been trying all kinds of different medications to help me cope but I honestly think sometimes they only made things worse. Enough of the bad! In August Donn...
Higher Ground!
I don't write this for pity or anything of that nature. I just want to share how amazing God is, although I've struggled that is one thing I've never forgotten! As many of you know I've struggled and at times I've just fallen apart. Today I want to share part of my story. First and foremost God is amazing, he has never failed me and I know he never will. As I have struggled through the last 1 1/2 of my life I have finally realized that I don't have to. If only I'd have learned this sooner. I have struggled with depression on and off for most of my adult life. I've been on medication, off medication, been thru various therapies and councilor's you name it I think I've probably done it. Fifteen months ago my life literally began to unravel and I didn't know how to handle it. At first I cried out to God, then I tried to fix it and then it just seemed impossible. I fell into the deepest pit of depression I have ever been in and I certainly didn...
Accomplished!
So far to go but hey you gotta start somewhere right! 20 pounds down and I am wearing a smaller pair of pant today!
Emotions!
Boy do they get the best of us. Today has been an absolute horrible day. There were some events a couple of years ago that I really thought I'd dealt with that apparently I'd just buried and today that grave so to speak was opened. I really should have known to expect such as when you really commit yourself to God you tend to face this stuff. It's so hard and has left me heartbroken. I know it's not to big for God but it feels like a huge mountain to me. Please be in prayer with me that God would just say the word and let it be gone but nonetheless his will not mine. I honestly don't know that I am strong enough for this but I've been taught that I can do all things through him who gives me strength!
Turning it around!
Three and a half years ago I was the happiest I had ever been with my physical image. I had never been so small in my entire life and as with so many things in my life I became one of those that said I will never be that works as hard as I did to get the weight off to just put it back on. All I can say is never say never! I guess a person never knows what they will do until that road is in front of them. In the last few years I have been through a lot. A lot emotionally, physically, medically and mentally. My life has completely changed, nothing is as it was. I hate change, I do not cope with it well at all. I haven't shared this because honestly I feel so ashamed. I had an appointment with a specialist two weeks ago to see if he could give some insight as to why I had such a sudden weight change and what if anything I could do to fix it. Boy was that a wake up call but it was a wake up call I needed! He first told me that the hysterectomy I had 3 1/2 years ago put my body on...
Wow, I can't believe I haven't posted anything on here in sooo loooong! So much has happened and so much has changed. I have this huge post written just can't decide if I'm ready to share it. Beings I'm actually setting at work right now I don't have time to go into much but I'm going to try and make time for that this afternoon!
Silly Sisters! Momma letting her horns out! Beautiful! This is my mom and 2 of her sisters, Naomi and Mary. Aunt Mary has been battling cancer for the past several years and this recent round of chemo caused her hair to start falling out so she decided to go ahead and shave it off rather than have bald spots. These are a few of the wigs that she has acquired from friends and family. I guess no matter what age you are when you get together with your sisters it's all fun and games (at least it was Saturday anyway).
It doesn't get better than this! I want to introduce everyone to our grandson, Noah Avery Hammond! All I can say is wow! He is the most amazing creature. He was born this morning, September 18, 2010 at 1:16 A.M. He weighed 6 pounds 15 ounces and is 19 1/2 inches long. I must say to me he looks way smaller than this. Bethany did an absolutely amazing job and I am so proud of her. He came into the world letting us know he was really not happy with the whole being born situation. But then he thought he'd have a look around. Then he found her, awe yes that's my mommy and this is where he was when I found my way home a bit ago except they where all snoozing. More to share later after some much needed rest. It has been a very long day!
Healing Did you know that healing is very painful? I always knew that physical healing was painful, yes it always hurts for a while before a wound heals. What I never knew it was that spiritual and emotional healing is also very painful. I have come to find that this is very painful in so many ways. I have learned that severing relationships that hinder my life is painful but necessary. I have learned that God is still there when I try but still end up landing on my face. I have learned that God uses his people in ways that even blow my mind. I mean there are people that I don't see on a daily basis and have no idea what's going on him my life who all of a sudden know the exact words that need to be spoken at the right time. Did you know that Satan is watching you? He does, he sits and watches our lives and then BOOM just like that he sees a vulnerable spot and he jumps on it. Sometimes we don't even realized that this has happened. I sp...
I found something I didn't know I had lost! (Warning, very long post) I sit here with tears flowing as I share with you my heart. Honestly I don't know where to begin or that I'm even comfortable with this. So I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and have decided to be open about some things with all of you. You are my friends and have never showed me anything but love so I really think by the end of this post you will rejoice with me. You see over the last 9 months or so life has been anything but stable. I lost myself somewhere along the way. Sometimes life throws changes at you that your just not prepared for and you must decide how to cope with them. I retreated somewhere deep inside of myself, um not a good place to be. I became very depressed and then life threw more at me. I became very anxious and then life threw even more at me and somewhere along the way I became someone I didn't know. I was lost and I honestly never realized...
Our Little Girl! Our daughter Bethany thought she needed to go and grow up and grow up she has. It's so hard to believe that this little girl that I fell in love with over 15 years ago(she was 5 when her daddy and I married) is now becoming a mommy. She will be blessing us with our first grandson in 4 weeks or so. Her shower for Noah was this weekend. My cousin Shelby came in and did belly pictures for her and I just had to share these. Noah Avery Hammond!!!! The proud Mommy and Daddy to be..... Our Little Girl! (She is absolutely glowing) Noah we cannot wait to meet you and we already love you!
A RAY OF SUNSHINE! Have you ever been in a place in you life where something tells you that you have messed things up so horribly bad that not even God cares to fix it? That my dear friends is where my life has been lately. But I do want to say that God is so faithful and full of grace. Satan is a liar, he is the one that put those feeling there. I life has been on a slippary slope lately and try as I might I couldn't save it but I came heart to heart with the one who could last night. I so don't understand us humans. Why do we try to fix things that we know are bigger than we are? Human nature I guess. I want to thank all my prayer warrior friends out there, I appreciate your prayers more than you will ever know. Please continue to be in prayer for us as we are now on an uphill climb but this road is a very bumpy one. I leave you with this, hold on to Jesus because in this life he is all that we have. Love to you all, ...
Incredibly Dark! I can officially state that I have been walking through one of the darkest time of my life. I do understand it could be worse although I think that if it were that would be enough for me to just throw in the towel. I really am not ready to comment on what I have been going through just please remember me/us in ur prayers.
Seasonal Changes! To all my family and friends I find myself coming back to my blog when I am unsure of things. Don't get me wrong God is the first place I turn. He is and has always been my ROCK. I have alway found what used to be journaling and is now blogging theraputic and even if noone out there ever reads this at least I in someway may feel better. We all know that there are changes in life. Some we love, some are unexpected and some we just flat out hate. I remember growing up all I ever wanted to be was a wife and mommy. I wanted to go to nursing school but I really wanted to be a mommy. I couldn't wait for that experience. I hated high school, I just never really felt like I fitted in anywhere. I didn't play sports, wasn't a cheerleader and wasn't a brain so I never felt like there was a place for me. My plans throughout high school were to graduate as quickly as possible and go to nursing school. One day all of that...
The deal I got at Kroger tonight I got all of this for under $125.00! Had we paid full price for this stuff is would have been $285.00. Plus I left with a catalina for $3.00 and another one for $1.50. Here is a list of everything in the picture because I'm sure there is some stuff that you cannot see. 1-Bag of Diapers 7-Boxes of Surf Detergent 4-Bottles of All Detergent 4-Bottles of Snuggle Fabric Softner 20-Bottles of Gatorade 6-Packages of Keebler Cookies 12-3 Packs of Dial Soap 6-Cans of Carnation Milk 4-Cartons of Ice Cream 4-Bags of Oreida Fries 4-Boxes of Granola bars 2-Bottles of Sunny D 1-Block Velveta 2-Packages of Cheese 4-Break and Bake Cookies 6-Cans of Biscuits 1-Can of Fruit 7- 4 packs of Fruit & Jello 1-Tub of Smart Balance Butter 2 Steaks 1 Beef Jerky Thing 1 Pack of Chicken 1 Cars Book 1 Pack of Hot Dog Buns 1 Pack of Hamburger Buns and I am sure that I am missing something!!!!
