Welcome To Our Lives!

Higher Ground!

2011-06-07T13:17:00.001-05:00

I don't write this for pity or anything of that nature. I just want to share how amazing God is, although I've struggled that is one thing I've never forgotten!

As many of you know I've struggled and at times I've just fallen apart. Today I want to share part of my story.

First and foremost God is amazing, he has never failed me and I know he never will. As I have struggled through the last 1 1/2 of my life I have finally realized that I don't have to. If only I'd have learned this sooner.

I have struggled with depression on and off for most of my adult life. I've been on medication, off medication, been thru various therapies and councilor's you name it I think I've probably done it.

Fifteen months ago my life literally began to unravel and I didn't know how to handle it. At first I cried out to God, then I tried to fix it and then it just seemed impossible.

I fell into the deepest pit of depression I have ever been in and I certainly didn't know how to deal with it on top of everything else. So I went to the doctor for antidepressants and bounced from one medicine to the next but nothing ever worked long. This was hard and I was weak. I literally lost my footing with life, God and my family.

September or October of last year it seemed like the doctors finally found the right combination of medicine and I began to feel better or so I thought. Life was getter easier and the future finally looked a little brighter. (or so I thought)

About 7 or 8 weeks ago I forgot to fill the prescription and just couldn't remember to do it. A week or two went by and I told Donnie about it but that if anything I felt better, more like me than I had in a long time. We decided to see how things went and if not then I'd just go get the medicine. As more time passed the better I felt so I didn't worry about it.

Sunday May 20, 2011
I will never forget this day! We got up and got ready for church just like we had every Sunday morning for our entire marriage. Little did I know this Sunday would prove to be life altering. As the musicians began to play and everyone began to sing I felt something I hadn't felt in a very long time and to be honest with you I'm not sure I had ever quite felt it like this before. I began to pray and it literally felt like God reached down out of heaven and wrap his big Daddy arms around me. At this moment I realized that I hadn't felt God in so long but not only that I hadn't felt anything. Not happiness, sadness or love. Nope I just apparently had stop feeling but I had also not realized it. I had become numb, emotionally stunted! I gave my all to God right then and there. I felt nothing but his love! It felt like the weight of the world was taken off my shoulders.

You see as I had struggled through somethings I had just gotten to the point where I honestly felt that it wasn't possible for God to love someone like me. I had done things that I was ashamed of and had actually come to the point where I felt unlovable. He loved me I just was unable to feel it and Satan played on that. He bombard my mind with things but all of that washed away that morning.

I'd love to say life has been grand since then but as everyone know that isn't the way it goes. Only this time I felt God walking with me. I could do this, right!

Saturday June 4, 2011
This was a busy day and I woke up just feeling extremely stressed. That afternoon a friend of mine called and wanted to know if I wanted to get away for a bit. Absolutely! What's better than girl time, right! We went and got snow-cones (sugar free) and went to a little park where no people were around. We talked, laughed and cried. I told her about my experience over the last couple of weeks and we laughed and cried some more.

We were there for several hours when my phone went off. I got a message and in a split second my world was beginning to crumble down around me. Something I believed I had dealt with and put behind me was there and bigger than ever. I thought it was dead. I wasn't sure I could do this again. I didn't want to relive this again but didn't really know how to not I mean there it was and it was bigger than ever.

I struggled the rest if the evening and all day Sunday. I prayed and prayed for guidance and strength. I felt weak and I hated it. Sunday night I tossed and turned and prayed.

God showed me that I had put that behind me and that was exactly where I needed to leave it. So I picked myself up and did just that. God has forgiven me and that is all that matters. He is the only one that really matters because man will not get me into heaven. This hasn't been easy because I am human and the human in me wants to pick it up and try and fix it but honestly it's to broken to be fixed and it just needs to be dead not fixed. I have decided that nothing is worth my salvation, nothing is worth my family.

With that being said I know there is always the possibility of things in my past and mistakes I've made along the way to rise up and bite me but I also know that I serve a mighty God and there is nothing like having that relationship. I trust that God will be there and allow me to have the strength to make my way through anything.

As far as the anxiety and depression go I'm not saying that I will never have issues with them cause I think just like anything else it tries to sneak back on us. One thing I absolutely do know is that I will never allow medication to make me numb to the point where I can't even feel God's love.

There is no unlovable person out there. God is standing right there with his arms open wide waiting on them. He's awesome! I just had to decide that I could chose the path my life was going to take and not allow the things in life to determine that path for me.

I hope this came across the way it was meant to. I'm in no way suggesting that everyone run out and toss the medications buy if a medication has numbed you to the point where you don't feel anything but blah you might reconsider it. I will be forever grateful for my forgetfulness because without it I may have just missed out on this opportunity to begin again. Everything is new and everything looks so different, so much bigger, better and brighter!

Accomplished!

2011-06-07T12:05:00.001-05:00

So far to go but hey you gotta start somewhere right! 20 pounds down and I am wearing a smaller pair of pant today!

Emotions!

2011-06-05T00:14:00.001-05:00

Boy do they get the best of us. Today has been an absolute horrible day. There were some events a couple of years ago that I really thought I'd dealt with that apparently I'd just buried and today that grave so to speak was opened. I really should have known to expect such as when you really commit yourself to God you tend to face this stuff. It's so hard and has left me heartbroken. I know it's not to big for God but it feels like a huge mountain to me. Please be in prayer with me that God would just say the word and let it be gone but nonetheless his will not mine. I honestly don't know that I am strong enough for this but I've been taught that I can do all things through him who gives me strength!

Turning it around!

2011-05-26T13:12:00.002-05:00

Three and a half years ago I was the happiest I had ever been with my physical image. I had never been so small in my entire life and as with so many things in my life I became one of those that said I will never be that works as hard as I did to get the weight off to just put it back on. All I can say is never say never! I guess a person never knows what they will do until that road is in front of them.

In the last few years I have been through a lot. A lot emotionally, physically, medically and mentally. My life has completely changed, nothing is as it was. I hate change, I do not cope with it well at all.

I haven't shared this because honestly I feel so ashamed.

I had an appointment with a specialist two weeks ago to see if he could give some insight as to why I had such a sudden weight change and what if anything I could do to fix it. Boy was that a wake up call but it was a wake up call I needed! He first told me that the hysterectomy I had 3 1/2 years ago put my body on a slippery slope and it just began what he called a snowball effect. I developed hypothyroidism shortly after my hysterectomy which had been no fun to say the least. The more weight I gained the more depressed I became about it not to mention all the things life was throwing my way. To get to the point he told me that I have a metabolism syndrome. This causes my body to make too much insulin which in turn causes you to store and hang on to fat. They also think I have something called Cushing syndrome which I don't know a lot about I just know that it causes you to gain and excessive amount of weight. He also told me that if I didn't do something that he could tell me with almost a 100 percent guarantee that in the course of the next few years I would develop diabetes and heart disease(did I mentioned that these two components contributed to my grandmothers death).

There is nothing that can be done about metabolic syndrome other than dietary changes and with Cushings there is medication but the best thing all around is dietary changes and exercise. So I left his office that day with a prescription for dietary changes(South Beach Diet) and exercise. I also left there that day feeling relieved, yes I said relieved! I finally had an answer and I wasn't going nuts. I'm not saying that the intense dietary changes didn't freak me out a bit (or a lot) but I had an answer. That was two weeks ago today. The first week was hard but this week I'm enjoying it(yes I said enjoying). Who enjoys a diet right! Best of all as of this morning I had lost 14.4 pounds in the last 14 days and it feels grand!

I won't let food kill me!

I also won't say that I won't put weight on, it obviously happens but I feel that I have a better grasp of things than I've ever had. I have however learned one of the hardest lessons of my life.

I have also learned and an easy lesson it was not that I can control what I do with how my emotions make me feel. I can choose to go to the fridge and veg out or I can choose to spend another year on earth with my family.

Raw an roasted veggies Are so totally my thing right now. I may have to eat 5 or 6 times a day but I'm satisfied and still coming in under my allotted cal/fat/carbs for the day.

So this is where I am and this will most likely totally turn back into my diet exercise journal but that worked really well for me last time around.

I will leave you with a picture of the cutest little man who has absolutely stolen my heart!

With all my love,
Beverly!

2011-05-25T13:13:00.000-05:00

Wow, I can't believe I haven't posted anything on here in sooo loooong! So much has happened and so much has changed. I have this huge post written just can't decide if I'm ready to share it.

Beings I'm actually setting at work right now I don't have time to go into much but I'm going to try and make time for that this afternoon!

2010-11-07T17:37:00.000-06:00

Silly Sisters!

Momma letting her horns out!

Beautiful!

This is my mom and 2 of her sisters, Naomi and Mary. Aunt Mary has been battling cancer for the past several years and this recent round of chemo caused her hair to start falling out so she decided to go ahead and shave it off rather than have bald spots. These are a few of the wigs that she has acquired from friends and family. I guess no matter what age you are when you get together with your sisters it's all fun and games (at least it was Saturday anyway).

2010-09-18T03:56:00.000-05:00

It doesn't get better than this!

I want to introduce everyone to our grandson, Noah Avery Hammond!

All I can say is wow! He is the most amazing creature. He was born this morning, September 18, 2010 at 1:16 A.M. He weighed 6 pounds 15 ounces and is 19 1/2 inches long. I must say to me he looks way smaller than this. Bethany did an absolutely amazing job and I am so proud of her.

He came into the world letting us know he was really not happy with the whole being born situation.

But then he thought he'd have a look around.

Then he found her, awe yes that's my mommy and this is where he was when I found my way home a bit ago except they where all snoozing. More to share later after some much needed rest. It has been a very long day!

2010-09-17T09:49:00.000-05:00

Healing

Did you know that healing is very painful? I always knew that physical healing was painful, yes it always hurts for a while before a wound heals. What I never knew it was that spiritual and emotional healing is also very painful. I have come to find that this is very painful in so many ways. I have learned that severing relationships that hinder my life is painful but necessary. I have learned that God is still there when I try but still end up landing on my face. I have learned that God uses his people in ways that even blow my mind. I mean there are people that I don't see on a daily basis and have no idea what's going on him my life who all of a sudden know the exact words that need to be spoken at the right time.

Did you know that Satan is watching you? He does, he sits and watches our lives and then BOOM just like that he sees a vulnerable spot and he jumps on it. Sometimes we don't even realized that this has happened. I speak about this from personal experience I just didn't realize at the time this was what was happening. How could I have missed it? I mean I was a Christian! I have learned that just because I am a Christian and love God doesn't mean I am above falling into satan's trap. In fact I am more vulnerable to it than those who don't live their lives for God. I have also learned that I cannot lose this fight unless I quit.

There have been times where I have wanted to just quit. I thought if I could just quit the pain would go away. I wouldn't be able to let anyone down because you can't let people down if they don't expect anything of you. I was so wrong! I will never quit and while I may let people down I have learned that even when I fall my heavenly father is there to catch me as long as I allow him to.

This week I came to a place where I just decided to let go, I let go of everything! I couldn't carry it anymore, I have to allow God to carry this because it is just to heavy for me. When I finally came to this place it was like wow, why did I try for so long to carry this, why didn't I just let him have it. God must have a plan because I don't think Satan fights people like he has me if he didn't think God has a plan. You see since I realized that I wasn't walking the life that God would have me to and have decided that I want all he has for my life and want to do, go and be what he want me to do, go and be things have been a struggle. A major struggle, but everytime things would get to the point where they were just almost bigger than I could handle God would use someone to lift me back from the breaking poing.

I know a lot of this probably don't make sense to many but I had to just get it off of my mind so I can get some work done. I am not a quiter. I am in fact a survivor. Beyond being a survivor I am a child of the King which makes him a princess!

Oh and the coolest thing happened! With face book having evolved I have many people that I went to high school with on it. Well the other day a friend that I haven't spoken with since we were in lamaze with our first babies who are 13 now sent me a message. I thought cool, it would be nice to get back in contact with her. I mean she was a really good friend and a sweetheart. As I reached a place that I seriously just wanted to quit my chat box on face book popped up and it was her. She said she didn't know why but I had just been on her heart and she didn't know why but she knew something was wrong and we talked for a very long time. She helped me see things in a different light and was such a blessing. It was exactly what I needed when I needed it. I thank God for her and I thank her for allowing God to use her. Things like this still blow my mind when God does them. I mean how could she know I needed her, we hadn't spoken in 13 years. God is just amazing!!!

Healing hurts but I know a man that can take all that hurt away! Thank you God for loving me enough!

2010-09-06T13:18:00.000-05:00

I found something I didn't know I had lost!

(Warning, very long post)

I sit here with tears flowing as I share with you my heart.

Honestly I don't know where to begin or that I'm even comfortable with this. So I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and have decided to be open about some things with all of you. You are my friends and have never showed me anything but love so I really think by the end of this post you will rejoice with me.

You see over the last 9 months or so life has been anything but stable. I lost myself somewhere along the way. Sometimes life throws changes at you that your just not prepared for and you must decide how to cope with them. I retreated somewhere deep inside of myself, um not a good place to be. I became very depressed and then life threw more at me. I became very anxious and then life threw even more at me and somewhere along the way I became someone I didn't know.

I was lost and I honestly never realized it. I just kept going through life, I mean what choice did I have right. I became someone on the inside I didn't know, on one hand I hated this person but on the other it was very exciting to be someone who could make all the stuff in life ever so dull. The only problem with this is I became very lost. Lost from my myself, my family, my friends and most of all my God. I knew I had changed but I'm guessing I had convinced myself I was okay because I still loved my family, my friends and yes I still loved God. I found myself doing things that were very out of character but the more I did them the less I felt. It didn't hurt so bad! Things just kept happening and I just kept finding myself doing more things out of character. (You see the cycle) I didn't see that my life was spinning out of control but man was it. I didn't understand why God was causing my life to be a mess. I mean he was causing all of these trials right. I always found things to get a little better and then bam something else would happen and I would fall deeper in this. Mind you all the time I kept my game face on in front of my kids and everyone but a few friends and my husband. Never once did I let those closest to me that love me the most in on this, well there was once. (Thanks Jen, I appreciate and love you!)

I do know and fully understand that God wasn't causing or doing this to me. Trials in life come and God is there to get us through them and uses them for his glory if we allow him to. Sadly I had lost the ability to see it that way.

Today as I look back on things, I'm just broken over it. Over the last several weeks I found myself making little changes. I didn't understand at the time that it was God. He was tugging at me. I had changed some little things. Turned the TV off more, changed the things we were watching, you know just small things. I mean I just didn't want my kids exposed to those things anymore. I found myself reading more. Started off with just some inspirational books by Beth Moore and things of that nature but then I found myself pick up my BIBLE (are you seeing a pattern cause again I didn't) and things really began to stir in me. I really just thought I could be a better person. I was doing all of this on my own, right (that is how I seen it at first). I mean I was the one making these changes of my own will or so I thought.

A week ago yesterday I really didn't want to go to church but didn't want to be a bad example to my kids. Let me tell ya it is honestly not any fun trying to be 2 people at the same time. Through all of this I rarely missed church, I mean people might have thought something was really wrong and I thought I was fine, just different than who I had use to be but I actually thought I liked this new me (not). Anyway back to that service at church last Sunday. Our Pastor, Dr. Bradley preached and I mean he preached a sermon on how that if we would just take one step in a positive direction we could be changed, we could succeed. Just one step! He preached about your life not having to be a mess. He told us that we had the abilty through God to not let things control us. You see many times in the last 9 months I have tried to go back to the old me. I would feel God but then when I would leave church I would be reminded of all the things I had done. My mind would make me miserable and I was convinced God didn't have a place for me anymore. I mean how can God forgive someone who has lived a Godly life for all these years that falls flat on their face all the while being in church. How do you lose God while sitting on a church pew every service, seriously? It happens! I don't know or understand how this happens all I know is it does and it can happen to anyone. During that church service last Sunday night something stirred in me and I wanted to be that person that could make a difference. I went forward and prayed and begged God to make a difference in me. Then of course before we even got home it began. My thoughts, the mind is a scary thing. It can literally torment you. Instead of just giving up this time I read my Bible and I also came across a book that we have had forever and decided to read it. I had no idea what it was even about when I started it but it was exactly what I needed. It talked about taking control of our mind and thought life. I was astounded that through God I actually have the power to control these things. My mind had been tormenting me for months and it still does God has just given me the revelation to see that through him I am in control of it. Though the day when this would start I would just immediately ask God to help me control it and this was working. Apparently this angered Satan because I then began have night terrors about my past. I couldn't sleep and when I did I didn't rest and woke up exhausted. I felt as I had been fighting for my life all night long. I had been fighting and running like crazy from this stuff. Then Wednesday of last week Pastor taught having a beautiful mind and how we had to guard our mind and renew it. How if we bathed our mind in God's word it would be renewed. I had been reading immediately before church this very thing in my book. Thank you God for affirming these things. I don't have to run anymore all I must do is turn around face it head on and command it to stop in the mighty name of Jesus. Friday I faced the biggest storm I had in a while and while I didn't handle it as I probably should and did regress and bit, God got a hold of me and I was shakened. I don't ever remember being disciplined like that EVER!

Yesterday morning I went to church kinda bummed cause I really felt like I had failed again. Why would God still want me? Pastor preached about how Satan was trying to steal our belief and our faith in God. Thank you Pastor Bradley for listening to and obeying God. Something happened to me in church yesterday morning and I don't know how to explain it. I literally felt something change, I felt this unexplainable power come in me. I feel God right here with me. It's not like I have ever felt him before! He is an awesome God!!!! My heart for the first time in a long time feels whole. I never stopped loving God but I honestly felt there was no way he could still love me. I do realize that this is what Satan wants us to feel. I want all God has for me and my family. I want to do anything and I want to go anywhere he would have for me. I know people are probably thinking (and that's okay, he knows) your walking on a cloud and maybe I am but God is walking beside me. You probably think when the first thing comes at me I will be right back where I was, well I vow that I will not allow that to happen and as long as God is here with me it won't. You see I had walked away and left him behind but when I finally started stepping towards him even though at first I didn't realized that I was he like the loving father he is began running to me with his arms open wide. Seriously I am just overwhelmed with the feeling of his presence. He is my life and without him I am noone. My heart hearts but in a good way. I feel that it is being worked on wounded but on the mend. Kinda when you have a wound that is healing.

I hate what I have allowed to happen over the last 9 months and I hate the things that have happened but I will not walk away with them with a ahh poor me attitude because I know that God can make anything come together and use it for his glory. You know maybe it can be used to minister to another family, wife, mother, child of God someday. I know that things will raise their ugly heads but I have also come to know that if I call out to God I can get through them without all the wounds and scars they can cause. I am fully aware that Satan and his many fallen angels will throw things at me, they will do anything they can to stop what I have, what God has so graciously allowed me to take part in. Today I do stand on top of a mountain and even if tomorrow a valley comes along I will hold my head high and thank God for it, for I will be stronger on the other side.

God please use me and my life anyway you see fit.

I want to thank everyone of you for your prayers and your love. I will never look at the past at not regret it but I have also learned a lot and have more compassion for people walking this road than is imaginable. Before you decide to judge or look down on people for something you really need to try and look at it from the other side. Afterall we are all just flesh and blood being SAVED BY GRACE!!!

I honestly don't know where to stop this and could probably go on forever but I'm sure I have already lost a lot of you so I will leave you with this.

Renewal can only be done in someone who has been through enough to open his heart, to close up his past, to stand in the rain of God's grace and to tell the next generation the truth!

Go with God and be blessed!!!

2010-08-29T21:21:00.000-05:00

Our Little Girl!

Our daughter Bethany thought she needed to go and grow up and grow up she has. It's so hard to believe that this little girl that I fell in love with over 15 years ago(she was 5 when her daddy and I married) is now becoming a mommy.

She will be blessing us with our first grandson in 4 weeks or so. Her shower for Noah was this weekend. My cousin Shelby came in and did belly pictures for her and I just had to share these.

Noah Avery Hammond!!!!

The proud Mommy and Daddy to be.....

Our Little Girl!

(She is absolutely glowing)

Noah we cannot wait to meet you and we already love you!

2010-03-29T08:54:00.000-05:00

A RAY OF SUNSHINE!

Have you ever been in a place in you life where something tells you that you have messed things up so horribly bad that not even God cares to fix it? That my dear friends is where my life has been lately. But I do want to say that God is so faithful and full of grace. Satan is a liar, he is the one that put those feeling there. I life has been on a slippary slope lately and try as I might I couldn't save it but I came heart to heart with the one who could last night. I so don't understand us humans. Why do we try to fix things that we know are bigger than we are? Human nature I guess. I want to thank all my prayer warrior friends out there, I appreciate your prayers more than you will ever know. Please continue to be in prayer for us as we are now on an uphill climb but this road is a very bumpy one. I leave you with this, hold on to Jesus because in this life he is all that we have.

Love to you all, Beverly

2010-03-25T19:51:00.000-05:00

Incredibly Dark!

I can officially state that I have been walking through one of the darkest time of my life. I do understand it could be worse although I think that if it were that would be enough for me to just throw in the towel. I really am not ready to comment on what I have been going through just please remember me/us in ur prayers.

2010-02-09T00:24:00.000-06:00

Seasonal Changes!

To all my family and friends I find myself coming back to my blog when I am unsure of things. Don't get me wrong God is the first place I turn. He is and has always been my ROCK. I have alway found what used to be journaling and is now blogging theraputic and even if noone out there ever reads this at least I in someway may feel better.

We all know that there are changes in life. Some we love, some are unexpected and some we just flat out hate. I remember growing up all I ever wanted to be was a wife and mommy. I wanted to go to nursing school but I really wanted to be a mommy. I couldn't wait for that experience. I hated high school, I just never really felt like I fitted in anywhere. I didn't play sports, wasn't a cheerleader and wasn't a brain so I never felt like there was a place for me. My plans throughout high school were to graduate as quickly as possible and go to nursing school. One day all of that changed, I'm sure it was more of a proccess of a few months, but still.

In May 1995 I met the guy, the guy that would be my husband and father to my boys. This was the summer before my senior year and all I could think about over then next year was to get done so that we could get married. (Seriously what was the rush, not that I don't love him with all my heart) I did graduate high school in May of 1996 and we were married the following September. We welcomed our first son 10 months later and his little brother in May 2000. I threw all my plans of going to nursing school out the window with no regrets. I was a mommy and that was enough for me. I was what I wanted to be a wife and mommy and I love it. I worked in a daycare when the boys were little and then opened a home daycare when it was determined that Elijah's immune system wasn't able to tolerate being in a daycare center setting. I love every child that set foot in our home and cared to them as though they belonged to us. In March 2005 out of the blue a friend called and offered me a job. Monday-Friday 9-5, decent pay, close to home and they would be very understanding to my family and if I needed any time off. My children were both old enough for public school and they thrived. I took the job and that is where I have been ever since. I loved my job and I know more than anything that God laid that job in my lap.

Over the past five years as with anything my job has had it's ups and downs. This position was an elected position and there was the political side to it. That is the part that I hated but was able to tolerate, that is until this past April. There was an entire new Town Council with the exception on one voted in. Oh me, oh my. Although the Council acted like they were doing what was best for our Town they certainly were not. If you have every worked in government/politics you know that there rules and laws that you are to abide by. Apparently someone forgot to tell these people that. I did my best to work with them and to do that while not stepping outside of my job/legal scope. When it came to the point where I did have to stand up to them my work environment was turned into a place that was hostile and I finally turned in my resignation. That was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do and I did not do that without much prayer. I took a weeks vacation and prayed that God would show me what I needed to do and it became evident that I could not go back there. I turned in my resignation and 2 weeks notice when I was on vacation and was basically told that they did not want me there anymore because I was an outsider and that they would pay me for the full 2 weeks as long as I resigned immediately. That was 3 weeks ago and I still can't decide what I need to do. I have been offered a couple of part-time jobs but they just haven't felt right. I continue to work for both of the doctors that I have worked for from home for the past 3 years. I just don't want to step out of God's will for my life. I want to do whatever it is that he would have me to do. If that is to continue to stay home and work from here, find a new job or to go back to school I am find with any of that. I just want him to reveal that to me. I hate hanging in limbo but I am so grateful to him for getting me out of the horrid situation that I had been working in for so many months. God is so big, so awesome and I thank him for everything that he has done for me in my life. I know beyond anything that he will take care of us.

2009-11-26T12:58:00.002-06:00

Hope Everyone has a Blessed Thanksgiving!!

2009-10-31T00:13:00.000-05:00

The deal I got at Kroger tonight

I got all of this for under $125.00! Had we paid full price for this stuff is would have been $285.00. Plus I left with a catalina for $3.00 and another one for $1.50.

Here is a list of everything in the picture because I'm sure there is some stuff that you cannot see.

1-Bag of Diapers

7-Boxes of Surf Detergent

4-Bottles of All Detergent

4-Bottles of Snuggle Fabric Softner

20-Bottles of Gatorade

6-Packages of Keebler Cookies

12-3 Packs of Dial Soap

6-Cans of Carnation Milk

4-Cartons of Ice Cream

4-Bags of Oreida Fries

4-Boxes of Granola bars

2-Bottles of Sunny D

1-Block Velveta

2-Packages of Cheese

4-Break and Bake Cookies

6-Cans of Biscuits

1-Can of Fruit

7- 4 packs of Fruit & Jello

1-Tub of Smart Balance Butter

2 Steaks

1 Beef Jerky Thing

1 Pack of Chicken

1 Cars Book

1 Pack of Hot Dog Buns

1 Pack of Hamburger Buns

and I am sure that I am missing something!!!!

2009-10-28T21:06:00.000-05:00

Target Duncan Hines Cake Mixes as low as $0.20

Target has Duncan Hines Cake Mixes starting at $0.97

Use (2) $0.50/1 Target Coupon HERE

Stack with (1) $0.55/2 Duncan Hines Baking Mixes from 10/11 SS

Final Price, $0.20

Thanks STL Mommy!

2009-10-07T16:07:00.002-05:00

John Morrell Lunchmeat B1G1

Thanks to Freebies 4 Mom I am now the proud owner to 2 of these B1G1 coupons that I will be taking to my local Wal-Mart and picking up some lunchmeat at a pretty good price. You can go here and print it for yourself. Don't forget you can print it twice.

2009-10-07T09:56:00.003-05:00

Cheerios Coupon

Go here and print your $1.00 off 1 box of original Cheerios cereal. (the one in the yellow box)
This could make for a really good deal on some cereal!

2009-09-18T13:10:00.003-05:00

Coupons are always good!

Here is a coupon for everyone. I don't know if you have tried these little babies but I personally love them. They just simplify things and I like simple. So click here and print yours.

I Just Won 2 Swag Bucks on www.swagbucks.com

2009-09-01T04:55:00.001-05:00

I Just Won 2 Swag Bucks on www.swagbucks.com

Shared via AddThis

2009-08-27T12:58:00.005-05:00

Glade Fragrance Collection
Coupon from Right@Home....
save $2.00
select from:

one reed diffuser
one 3-wick soy-based candle
one 4.9 oz. soy candle
two 2 oz. soy-based candles

Click here to get yours.

2009-08-17T02:19:00.005-05:00

See this Precious Angel? She has stolen My heart!

and

See this little Monster?

He took it too!

I love these babies just like they are mine. I just find it amazing how these 2 little lives have changed mine and they aren't even mine they are my cousins. Thank so much Lindsay and Chris for allowing us to be an active part of Madi and Haydens lives. Oh, guess what I love their mommy and daddy too! I just get so wrapped up in the babies sometimes I forget to remind them.

The cutest thing happend on Saturday night! Madi came to spend the night with me so we could get some good snuggling time in. I had her lying on my bed and I was standing down at the end of the bed and my 9 yo son Eli walked right past me onto Madi and he says to her your cold aren't you Madi, yeah I know. He lays her blanky out picks her up and proceeds to swaddle her and then kisses her on the forehead and says there ya go! I was so amazed by this. I mean he is a 9 yo boy to start off with most of them don't want nothing to do with stinky babies but for him to do this just melted my heart. I think they have E-Man wrapped too!

2009-06-13T19:22:00.005-05:00

Introducing

Our Princess, Madison Raelynn

She was born on June 11, 2009 @ 11:51 a.m.

She is perfect in every way.

She weighed in at 6 pounds 11.5 ounces and was 19 inches long.

She is so tiny compared to our babies who were both 8 1/2 pounds.

Big brother loves his baby sister!

Our little Princess!

2009-06-10T12:46:00.004-05:00

Sorry it's been so long!

We have been so busy with baseball, work, more baseball, more work and with my hubby working nights I feel like I do it all on my own. He starts back on days at the beginning of July right after the vacation we have planned. Nope we will not be traveling far but we cannot wait. We will be going to Arlington on Friday the 26th and hitting Six Flags. Jordan got 2 free tickets through school this year so the boys get in for free. We will then be spending the night in Dallas and finding something fun to do the next day that is yet undecided. Then that afternoon we will be checking into Great Wolf Lodge for 3 nights. I came upon a deal for stay 2 nights and the 3rd is free. Yippee, the boys loved Great Wolf Lodge last year and cannot wait to return. Honestly Mom and Dad are pretty stoked themselves.

We bribed Eli with it all school year. He is so bright but with starting a new school was struggling so we told him that if all of his grades were A's and B's on his last report card it would win him and his brother a night at Great Wolf. Of course we had already planned on taking them this would just extend their stay. Boy was he excited when he made honor roll and not just for 9 weeks but for the entire semester. Go Eli!

Now on to more serious matters!

I have a few things I need for you guys and girls to pray about with me.

1. My cousin Lindsay will be going in tomorrow to have a c-section and little Madison Raelynn will be joining us. Please pray for a healthy baby and healthy mommy. Lindsay also needs a quick recovery because she also is the mommy to 17 month old Hayden Christopher.

2. I have gone to the same church pretty much since I was 13 years old. Kandy's dad was the founder and pastor there for many years. Our church has been through a lot in the 8 years that Bro. David has been gone. We are now entering another bout of great turmoil which is probably greater than we have ever been through. I am honestly ready to find another home for my family... I love New Life and it is beyond anything home. I gave my heart to God there, I was filled with the Holy Spirit there and even baptised at one of New Life's services at Lake Texoma. I feel so torn because on one hand I don't want to leave our church with it being in the state that it is in but on the other I have to do what is best for my family. Please just help us pray for God's guidance. We have lost over 130 members at New Life in the past one to two years and something must be done. We just need God's help in a major way. Please pray from the board members of our church which includes my husband they certainly need God's wisdom.

I want to thank you all very much in advance for your prayers.

2009-05-11T19:16:00.012-05:00

Where did the time go?

My baby boy came into this world at 4:56 p.m. on this day 9 years ago. He was a big 8 pounds 5.8 ounces and 20 1/4 inches long. He was actually born with red hair which didn't last long. He turned snowy blonde soon thereafter. I sat awake with this little guy the entire night that he was born. He was starving and just wasn't getting happy with him mom.

Down below are just a few pictures to cover our Elijah David's life over the past 9 years. Eli was the most trying baby I have ever endured in my entire life. He was sick a lot! Once I quit my job and started keeping him at home and he got well he turned into this funny little toot. I don't know what I would do without him in my life. He is our baby, our last. He made our family whole. He actually made the decision that there would be no more siblings. Have a child with severe colic, milk allergies and gastric reflux disease and I assure that he/she will determine that for your family too!

Eli, Mommy loves you to the moon and back again.

Crawling around in the dirt at daycare, he was right around 1 year in this picture

This picture actually has a really cute story behind it. I obviously had already bathed Eli and gotten him ready for bed. I was then giving my 4 year old Jordan a bath and ran to get a towel when I returned to this. I guess he decided he wasn't done.

This picture was taken of Eli right after we brought him home from the hospital after he had salmonella.

He loved playing dress up

And if you can't tell his paci was his best friend. He finally gave it up at 4 years 7 months.

This is when he figured out he was funny and we have been in trouble ever since.

Eli and his life long best bud. She is 1 month older than him and they live across the street. I started keeping her when they were about 15 months. The 2 have been inseperable since.

Trouble I told you!

Beautiful!

Fun with Ronald!

These last 2 pictures are of Eli at 8 years old.

Great Wolfe Lodge

Here is my buddy with his buddies at his friends farm! Tobey's parents are wonderful and invite the entire elementary school out to their farm twice a year. They grow a pumkin patch for them in the fall and supply all eggs and candy for them at Easter. This is just amazing to me!

Cool and Free personal signatures - check this out!

2009-05-05T10:27:00.001-05:00

Take a look at this:
http://www.mylivesignature.com/mls_wizard2_1.php?sid=54487-158-CA37226AB4F5D7B5369900671596ACAE

2009-04-24T13:21:00.005-05:00

Happiness!

2009-04-17T11:38:00.003-05:00

I AM SO EXCITED!

As you all know we are actively involved in my cousins life and she has a 16 month old little boy that we just adore and love! He is our angel. Well, our little angel is going to be a big brother in a short 10 weeks. I just was to jump up and down. I must say I knew, I have known all along. I don't know why and I don't know how but I just did! IT'S A GIRL!!!! I have a house full of boys and then Hayden came along another little boy. Yes we love the just the same but now we get to have fun and play dress up. I have already bought her a multitude of dresses and a few oneses. I bought her a black onese that say "I can't wear pink everyday" in pink writing. I just love it. I just couldn't help myself, Easter dresses were half price and who could pick just one so she got one of each! Is this bad, no not yet her closet isn't full in fact because of all the boys everyone just assumed she would be too, therefore her closet is empty! Well it was. Here is here little girl shot that I know you were all dying to see.

Her mommy and daddy will call her Peyton Shay but her name is Ladybug I have called her that for months and I am not about to stop now. Hopefully everyone else will catch on and join in as they call her big brother Haybug! I cannot stand calling a baby it, so I named her myself and thought this was appropriate. I have prayed so hard for our ladybug, for God's hand of protection in her life. I find it so hard to comprehend how I can love someone so much that I have never met and then I think back on the birth of my boys! I can't wait to meet you Ladybug!

2009-04-08T10:10:00.004-05:00

Uggg!!!

Yep that's the way I am feeling today. Do you ever wonder why you help people? Why, why do I go out of my way to do things for other people? You really don't have to answer that, I know the answer. But I am just blown away this morning. I don't want to be praised at all for what I do don't get me wrong. I do everything that I do because I love these people and I carry them in my heart, they have essentially become a piece of me. I began this post about 5 hours ago but did not have the time to finish it. I am glad that I didn't at that point I had swore I was done, I stated that I would never go out of my way again to do this or anything like this. (Sorry I can't actually give the details but I don't want to hurt anyone and certainly don't want to ruin any relationships. This is essentially my diary at times a place to get it all out. Who else is going to listen. If you want details email me and depending on who you are(sorry) I may give them to you and I only say that because I could definately use some wisdom and pray in this situation. Now that I have had time to breathe and consider everything I will not totally write off being a good person that helps those in need. I will continue to be there but I refuse to continue to try to help those that are not willing to at least along with me help themselves. Guess I will finish this later, I have work to do!

2009-04-02T10:54:00.004-05:00

Laundry Detergent Coupon

Save $0.50 on Purex Natural Elements detergent or fabric softner!

http://bricks.coupons.com/Start.asp?tqnm=qdbifuj38354839&bt=wi&o=55364&pt=&lang=&ws=&ct=&ci=&cl=&cp=&eb=1&c=DC&p=21080&z=&r=&pc=&tc=&lp=1

Coupon

2009-04-02T10:24:00.002-05:00

Here is a link to a $0.50 coupon on 1 bottle of white vinegar or 1 bottle of apple cider vinegar.

http://bricks.coupons.com/Start.asp?tqnm=qdbidzz65489513&bt=wi&o=55833&pt=&lang=&ws=&ct=&ci=&cl=&cp=&eb=1&c=CI&p=website_4351&z=&r=&pc=&tc=

Sorry it's not pretty but it is all blogger would let me do!

If you hit the back button and go back to the print page it will let you print 2 of these.

2009-03-23T21:07:00.010-05:00

Pray for McMuffin!

I don't know if you have noticed the sidebar on my page labeled McMiracle.

This is a SAHM with 4 babies 4 and under. When she was pregnant with her youngest she and her husband were essentially told that their unborn child would never live and that they should prepare for the worst. McMama and McCharming put their faith in God and McNugget (Stellan) was born full term and healed, he was perfectly healthy. He is now 4 months old and became ill over the weekend and is fighting for his life tonight.

Please pray for this little man and and this amazing family. Here is a link to McMama's blog http://www.mycharmingkids.net/ . There are people all over the world praying for McNugget but a few other people never hurt.

2009-03-13T18:23:00.002-05:00

Awesome Deal!

In conjunction with Glamour's 70th Anniversary Wet n Wild is offering their nail polish for $0.70 at Walgreen's through April 10th. It is listed at it's regular price but did ring up for $0.70! Perfect timing for spring and summer colors!

2009-03-07T23:57:00.004-06:00

How I love my litte "Eli"jah

Just a quick note to let you all now that I am still here. I have just had "A LOT' going on but hopefully thing will soon slow down and I will have the time to tell you all about it. I don't have the time to go into all of it right know but would like to share with you a bit about my day today.

We have been having a really hard time with our youngest son, Elijah. He is really, really hyper and on the go all of the time. He stays in to everything and listens to know one. I know what you thinking. This kid must be a nighmare. No he isn't. This little boy has a heart of gold. He would do almost anything for anyone. He loves to help people and you honestly just have to keep him busy.

With that being said, after I moved him from one school to another back in October his behaviour was no longer found to be cute You see he had always gotten away with it at his other school because he was the smartest kid in the class, so he would get his work done and then get to do whatever he wanted. They didn't make him behave and sit in his seat like the rest of the kids had to. So now at his new school he has had to learn an entire new set of rules and along with all of this we have seen that Our little Eli has some Attention deffeceincies. Ugg I swore that we would never do this with our boys but after sitting and watching this little boys suffer, worry and become depressed over the past few months I bit the bullet and called the doctor. Well wouldn't you know it the testing is (drum roll please) $1,350.00. Yep you read that right. And our insurance company is so sweet that they don't pay one single penny on it. Oh and get this we are so fortunate that we make like I don't know a couple hundred dollars a month to much to get any assistance with it. May we should have had a bunch of babies then they would have helped this one. Nope couldn't have done that cause my husband would be widowed taking care of all of them himself.

Anyway to get back on track. I decided to have my sister just speak with our pediatrician and see if we could just bring him in there and see what he would think about just doing a trial run of something and amazingly enough after hearing our story about the drastic changes in Eli he agreed. So when I woke up this morning Eli was the only on up(did I mention he don't sleep anymore either) so I told him to get some clothes on we were going to go spend some time together today. So Eli and I took off. We landed at IHOP and we dicussed what had been going on at school and his behavior lately and then I very gently talked to him about this medication that Dr. Kalil wanted him to start. He immediately started calling it an antibiotic. So he is now as far as every nows taking a antibiotic everyday. The only affect he had from his was being thristy and loss of appetite. If you have seen Eli lately he will not be harmed at all by missing a couple of meals.

I can say that my little boy did wonderfully today. He was so well behaved. No outburst, no tantrums, no slamming doors. I was impressed because I took him shopping and he never once had a meltdown. I seen my son today the one that I had before this whatever this is took over.

I have also been study some of the causes of ADHD and we will be changing our diet to as organic as we can over the next few weeks. I have found several organic meat farms withing driving distance of our home and the boys and I will be planting a garden this summer. I honestly think this will help my entire family. I will be back in later for more because there is so much more but this is all I have time for, for now. Love to you all.

Thank for checking in on me Kandy. Love Ya!

2009-01-06T21:24:00.002-06:00

My Precious Baby Boy!

Hayden & Eli playing remote control cars!
Hayden took a bite of Eli's toes!

2008-12-26T14:25:00.000-06:00

New Pictures!!

2008-12-25T22:12:00.005-06:00

Family Pictures 2008-I GIVE UP!!!!!

But I will share with all of you this silly bunch of testosterone I live with. Sometimes I wonder why just one of them wasn't a girl, then I think God always knows what he is doing.

I think this set is my favorite!

2008-12-17T14:57:00.000-06:00

How fast the time goes!

Here is a picture of our sweet little baby! Well not exactly our sweet little baby, he is actually my cousins sweet little baby but we love him lots. He turned 1 on the 15th and he thinks he a big boy. He is so proud of himself when he lets go of things and walks across the room. You should have seen him with this cake. If you look right behind his bottom you can see my arm. He refused to sit in his high chair so I sat him in the middle of the kitchen table with his cake and once the icing got caked on his hands he started waving them around fiercly trying to get the icing off and off it came. That stuff was flying everywhere. It was on the walls, the miniblinds, the people and all over me. I had to stop on my way back to church and buy me another shirt to where that night because I had blue icing on me. But my little monkey is worth it all and I would not have traded those moments for anything in the world. I love you monkey! Lets take the next year a little slower, K!

2008-11-25T11:00:00.000-06:00

For those wondering I do not feel like a zombie today. I am almost terrified to even write this. My stomach is feeling some better, I have taking in about 2 ounces of water thus far today which is probably more than I took in all day yesterday. I hope I am on the up side of this, now if I could just kick this nasty sinus stuff. Yuck and my mouth is soooo dry. Don't mean to sound whiny sorry.

On a lighter note we are getting a new baby, no me we but my cousin we. Of course she is terrified as this was not planned, but I have assured her that we are there for her to help her in any way that we can. I of course am really excited what is better than a brand new baby!

2008-11-24T12:19:00.000-06:00

Where did this come from and please let it go!!!!

Depair, Darkness, Depression, Saddness, Hopelessness, Terrified, Unknown, Unworthy, Pain, Why me, Anger and those are to just name a few.

As you can see this is not going to be one of those happy go luck post, in fact I don't even know wy I am doing this here. I have to get this out and I figure here better than some of the other places it could go. I am not doing this for your sympathy, disapproval, approval, opinion, or anything else. If you want to encourage me than that fine but I can't handle much else right now.

Last week I knew something was really out of wack I would be literally burning up and freezing at the same time. I could cry at the drop of a hat and I couldn't eat anything, it was 4 days before I had realized I hadn't had anything to eat. So I made the dreaded appointment with the ole Dr. That morning I told one of my co-workers I thought I was going crazy. She just kindof laughed me off and told me to go get checked out. Did I mention I was having migrained daily.

So when I get there and the Doctor comes in the room the first thing I said to him was before I say anything else I really am not crazy. I have been seeing him for 11 years and so he knows me really well and he says I know your not crazy what's going on. I stated I feel like I am crazy. Then I told him that I was having visual distubances, hearing things, freezing and burning up at the same time, exhausted but couldn't sleep, only getting about 3 to 4 hours of sleep per night, joints were hurting and my stomach was burning everytime I put anything in it.

He told me that my thyroid medication wasn't working and that my thyroid was causing everything which had caused me to go into a severe depression, severe axiety, so I got a new pill for my thyroid, a pill for the depression, a pill for the axiety, a pill for my stomach and I still can't eat, I have lost 6 pounds this week. All I want to do is sleep that it, it is so hard to stay awake, I feel like I walk around with my eyes shut and that is without any medication.

My family is worried I understand that but I don't know what to do to fix this. It isn't somethis I caused it was a genuine medical condition that brought all of this on. There are time that I cannot even deal with my kids now because their fighting brings on suck major axiety /panic attacks. They don't understand this, they are just kids. God please help me! I just want to be normal again, please!

2008-11-13T11:34:00.000-06:00

I am so going to do this!

I have so been putting off this post, why you ask? Hmm, let see embarrassment, guilt, shame, just to name a few. I have decided that it is time to get the word out and to get some help and I have also started feeling better and so maybe now I can do something about it. If you have kept up with me at all you know that over the last year to 18 months I have dropped a lot of weight. I went from a size 20 to a size 4-6. Well about a month ago I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and over the past several months I have gained about 20 pounds and needless to say I feel FAT! But more than that I am exhausted. Before I was diagnosed and knew what was wrong I was just tired and just wanted to sleep and sleep I did so not only did I gain weight but I have lost a lot of muscle tone. Last month I finally went to the doctor and he started me on some natural meds to get me back on track. I didn't think they were working, honestly I didn't. I woke up this morning with a spring in my step. I feel guilty that I have aloud this to happen to me but I also know what I have to do about it. I am headed to the track at lunch. I feel like I have been in a cloud for the last several months. Don't get me wrong, my energy level is still way down and I still feel like I could use a nap but I have that thought in my head maybe if I just go for a walk I will feel better so I am going to give it a try, instead of relaying on sugar rushes. I would really appreciate all of your prayers and support. Thanks girls. I think me and my elliptical may even become friends again.

2008-11-11T20:27:00.000-06:00

Our Little Tigger!

Our Sleepy Little Tigger!

Tigger and his mommy!

Tigger bouncing with his daddy!

Hayden was so sleepy when we were done and Eli held his hand and sang to him until he fell asleep, how sweet!

2008-11-11T20:23:00.000-06:00

Our up and coming surgeons!

2008-11-11T20:13:00.000-06:00

Is there anyone else out there that like me gets a free day off of work and has so many ideas about what I'm going to do, only to not get much at all done.

We were closed today because of Veteran's Day. So my brain immediately starts spinning, laundry, get the kids winter stuff out of the storage building, clean the bathroom, lets shoot for the entire house. Before I even got started this morning my Doctor called and was going to call me in a new prescription, great the pharmacy is 35 minutes away there goes at least 1 hour and 10 minutes and that is just driving time. Jordan then reminds me of a ballgame today at noon, there goes another couple of hours. What I did get done today was 3 or 4 loads of laundry, a bath, a ballgame, meds picked up, something to cook for dinner picked up, talked to a girlfriend for about an hour this morning, dishes done, picked the kids up from afterschool computer lab at 4. My day disappeared before my eyes. This I tell ya stunk! Oh, well maybe next time I won't plan anything.

2008-11-11T20:11:00.000-06:00

Time for change!

After having this blog for a couple of years now, I thought I would label it something that is more me. When I first opened this I didn't have a clue as to what to call it so now after thinking on it for 2 years it makes perfect sense.

2008-11-10T09:25:00.000-06:00

So the end has come!

My daddy is a truck driver and has drove on and off for as long as I can remember. With diesel prices being what they have been my dad stopped driving several months back and opened a mechanic shop across the street from their house which happens to be in our back yard pretty much. Eli (my 8 year old) is especially bonded with his poppy and loves to be out getting dirty and helping him. We live in a really small town and one can only fix so many things before there is nothing left. Long story short dad decided to go back on the road and he left yesterday afternoon. My little man didn't take it so well. Eli stood outside last night and watched daddy leave until he couldn't see his truck anymore. It was so sad! He then started walking towards our house, he had his little head just hanging down and I could tell he was doing his best not to cry but as soon as he saw me that was it my little man lost it. It was so hard to see him like that. I did my best to console him but he wasn't going for it. I told him you know that poppy always come back and through his sniffles told me he knew but he just didn't want him to leave.

My mom called me last night and said that my dad had told her that Eli had said told him that while he was gone that him and Nana was going to piddle in the garage. Dad asked him why they were going to do that. Eli told him that they might just have to fix something. If you know Eli then you know why we find this so incredibly adorable.

2008-10-31T09:35:00.000-05:00

Memories!

Isn't she cute! This little stuff dog means more to me than I can honestly explain. Today she is sitting on my desk here at work, last night I had her on my night stand. My real dog "Shadow" doesn't really know what to think of her, he just sits and stares. I want to give everyone the story behind her. First of all if you try to look her up on the internet her name is Pico we call her Periwinkle, yes she has a name. When my grandma was sick and in the hospital she was always asking about her dog "a little chichuahua named Periwinkle" and her chickens, so my sister found this little critter down in the gift shop and took her to grandma. Grandma sat there with the puppy on her tummy. It was really funny to she her with her there. Grandma wasn't big lady but she had this big tummy and she kept this little guy sitting on ther tummy, I guess so she could see him. After grandma went to be with Jesus they decided to bury Periwinkle (the stuffed Periwinkle) with her. I went with mom and her brother and sisters to the funeral home to make the arangements and I carried this little puppy around the entire time we were there. It was hard for me to leave him there, I don't understand why I just know it was. I told my sister that I wanted to find another one of them to be able to keep and she told me she wanted one too. So last week when I made my weekly Wal-Mart trip I stopped by the hospital to get them. They had 3 of them and I bought them all. People at the counter kept commenting on them and I couldn't bring myself to say anything. It is honestly bittersweet. So I decided last night I needed to get these out and give them to my Mom and my Sister. I asked my Sister if she thought that I should because I really didn't want to make anything harder from Mom. She told me to give it to her and make her promise not to cry when I did. Not, I cried when I bought them. I told mom that I had bought something for her but I didn't want to make her sad or bring her anymore pain. She told me nothing was going to make it worse than it already is. So I pulled Periwinkle out to her bag. Lets just say lots of tears were shed by all included. I honestly wish that I could take that moment back cause I am not so sure I would have given it to her. I also know that she would have eventually seen her at my house and it would have been the same thing, so who knows what I should have done. This littel puppy brings me some kind of comfort, I don't know why and I don't understand it but it does. I just hate seeing my Mom hurt and upset and I upset her last night. I know that her pain is still there and that she just keeps it bottle up so that we don't see it and that hurts because I just want to help her, I want to make her pain cease. I know I can't because I cannot imagine what she is going through. I know that only God and time can make this better. Please remember my Mom and all of her brothers and sisters in your prayers as I am sure that they are all struggling also. My love to you all.

2008-10-01T20:36:00.000-05:00

Homesick

After a long 3 weeks and 5 days of fighting for her life grandma was just so tired so she went to be with Jesus this morning at 3:25 a.m. As hard as this is and is going to be my grandma is not in any pain or distress anymore. In the past almost 4 weeks she has been through so much. She has had several surgeries, possible heart attacks, stroke and her heart even stopped at one point. I ask my cousin/brother Mike this morning if this was all going to end this way why did we, why did she have to go through all of this. His response and a very wise one I must admit was we all got to come down and see her again and some needed this time to prepare. So please remember my Mom, her siblings, the grandkids and great-grandkids. My boys have never lost anyone close to them and my husbands grandma died 2 weeks ago today and now we have lost grandma. I just keep reminding them that we will one day see her again, that this is not the end. I just pray that they come through this okay as our youngest has already been having nightmares since Donnie's granmother died. God Bless!

2008-09-09T21:51:00.000-05:00

My Grandma

At 1:00 am Saturday morning my phone rang but I was so asleep I didn't get to it in time. A few minutes later someone was knocking on my bedroom door(I have an outside door in my bedroom). It really kind of freaked me out but once I kind of came to my senses I realized something was wrong. It was my little sister and she had the baby in her arms. She told me to take him that grandma was at the hospital and that it was bad. She said that mom was there with her but she needed to get up there. I took little man but he refused to go back to sleep so about 2:30ish am we headed to the hospital. When I got there they had grandma on life support. They had said she had a heart attack but there were no ICU beds either there at that hospital or at the neighboring hospital. After about 6 hours or so they made room fo her in the ICU there but we wanted her moved to the other hospital because that is where her doctors are. So around noon or so they moved her to the ICU unit at TMC in Denison. We were then told that grandma was in respiratory and heart failure, she had an infection in her blood, lungs, urine and so on. They also told us that she also had swelling of her brain. On Sunday there was really not much change just that her heart rate was crazy going from 80's to 190's.

I went to work on Monday morning, when I tried to call my mom all I heard was her crying and she finally got on the phone and told me she would call me back. When she called me back she told me that grandma was awake but she didn't know who she was. Obviously my momma was devistated. I left work and went to be with my mom. When I got to the hospital grandma was awake but still on the vent. She was at that point following instruction and acting like she new who we were. Later in the day the took the vent out and she was able to talk to us. She told us she didn't remember anything that had happened(thank you God!). Momma asked her if she knew who she was and grandma said well yea your Becky. She then told momma she loved her and she looked over at me and told me she loved me. I left the room then so my uncle could go in and see her. It wasn't long before my uncle came out of the room and told us that they were putting her back on the vent. Grandma just wasn't able to breathe on her own.

Today the doctors told mom that grandma trachae is swollen and that her vocal cords are paralized. They are going to leave her on the vent until at least Thursday morning. They did start her on liquid feeding today and her vital sign have all been stable.

While mom and I were in the room with my grandma today(remember she is sedated and not suppose to be able to respond to us) mom leaned down to talk into grandma's ear. Grandma's face was turned away from us and mom leaned over and started to say Momma if you can hear me, suddenly grandma turned her head as though she was looking right at mom except her eyes were closed and then she moved her mouth. I think this was grandma's way of letting my mom know she was hearing everything she told her. It was really nice to see her respond like that.

They are now thinking that is wasn't a heart attack but that it was all brought on by her blood pressure. Her blood pressure when they got her to the hospital Friday night was 286/168. With her bp getting so high they said it threw her into congestive heart failure and caused her lungs to fill with fluid which caused her to not be able to breath and things just kind of snow balled after that.

We don't know what the future holds for my grandma but I ask that everyone pray for her. Please pray for my momma too! This is the hardest thing I have ever done. I love my grandma but to watch what my mom is going through hurts so much.

Mom said she asked God yesterday morning on the way to the hospital for him to just give her one more chance to make sure she was ready to meet him if she died and my mom had that yesterday. While grandma was awake mom talked to her about what was going on and she told grandma that she had nearly died on Friday night and that she was still very sick. She told grandma she needed to know if she were to die if she would go to heaven and my grandma started crying and shook her head yes. It will hurt all of us deeply if grandma dies but at least she will meet Jesus.

I really don't honestly know what will happen to my mom if my grandma dies. She sat with me tonight and she said she feels like a little girl and she is not ready to loose her momma.

Please just remember our family in your prayers!

2008-08-07T20:08:00.001-05:00

So much fun!

What a week the boys and I have had. I had to work Monday but have had the rest of the week off. I thought it would be nice to spend some time with them before school starts back next Wednesday. At some points I think that I would love to be able to stay home with them again and then there are times I don't think so. Don't get me wrong I love them but those kids fight like they hate one another sometimes. We got up early Tuesday morning and headed to Gainesville. We started by 2 hours of shopping for school clothes which I was beginning to think was a waste of time until we got to the last store. I got an awesome deal, I don't even remember the name of the store but they carried Lee and Wrangler jeans. I left there with 4 pair of Capri pants for myself, 3 pair denim shorts for Eli, 4 pair denim shorts for Jordan, 2 pair of jeans for Eli, 1 pair of jeans for Jordan and 1 top for myself. I got all of that for right at $110.00. I didn't pay over $9.99 for anything. I was ecstatic because for one my boys have this tummy that is kind of hard to fit for denim but I found all of that for them and what a deal. Last year I just bought elastic waist shorts from Wal-Mart and they cost more than these shorts.
We then went to the Frank Buck Zoo and boy was it hot! I think it was 104 degrees there. I was sweating like mad and of course the kids are running around like O' Mom it not that hot. Huh! So when we finally make our way through the zoo we of course had to ride the train, which I might add turned out pretty nice because there was a breeze. For any of you that have ever been to the Frank Buck Zoo you know that there is this awesome playground there. So guess what we did next, that’s right we had to go play. Generally I love this kind of thing but on Tuesday it was just way to hot. So I let them play for about 30 minutes and told them if we left we would stop off for ice cream on our way home. Bingo you can win them over with that every time. All in all we did have a good day just quite hot.

Eli on the train
Jordan on the train

The boys on the train

Yesterday we spent the day at home doing laundry and cleaning up the house, riding 4 wheelers, jumping on the trampoline and just a little bit of work I had to squeeze in for the Dr's office.

Today we got up and I did a bunch of laundry. Donnie called at 11:30 and we headed to Sherman to meet him for lunch. We were to meet him at Chick-Fil-A but guess what after the kids and I get there and order I tried and tried to call him and never could get him on the phone. We ate our lunch and as we were finishing up he finally called. He had gotten caught up and forgot we were coming. I was so aggravated but being the nice person I can be I sacked his lunch up and took it over to him.

The kids and I then stopped at the pool. I got in for a bit but then found myself a chair and got my book out. After a while I was burning up again, it was so hot, so I got back in. When I got out I moved my chair under a Cabana and thought I would be protected from the sun. Boy was I wrong when I went in to change my clothes my face, arms and chest were so blistered. I guess 4 hours it just a bit much but it was so nice not having to tell the boys don't fight, stop that, go play. I set in my chair with my book and not having to worry about anything. I mean of course I checked on them quite often but there was no fighting or anything just 4 hours of complete relaxation, oh except I time when I seen Jordan go down the slide but never seen him come up. I apparently missed that there were 2 places were you can get out of the pool from the slide. I was really fixing to freak when I spotted him off to the side. Anyway that has been our week. Tomorrow we are going to the vet and bowling. Saturday we are hurricane harbor bound.

Hope you have all had as much fun with your kiddos this week as I have had with mine.

So as I was finishing this up Eli comes running in the room with his finger wrapped in a towel. "Mom I cut my finger". I opened it up and boy did he cut his finger. I wrapped it back up and took him across the street to my mom's. Mom and my sister are both nurses, mom works for a surgeon and Angie works for our pediatrician. Angie opened it up and was like Oh boy he needs some stitches. My thought was crap I can't afford this. With our new insurance our ER deductable is $1500.00 who can afford this. So mom had her hold pressure on it for 10 minutes to get the bleeding stopped. During this time they decided they would just super glue it together and Steri-Strip it. Mom said Derma bond and super glue was the same thing so they'd try it. Thank God it worked. I just hope it stays together. This kid is a toughie he never even cried at all. Life is full of surprises!

2008-08-02T22:19:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to update everyone on my Aunt Mary. She started her chemotherapy and radiation therapy on this past Thursday. She will be having radiation 5 days a week for 6 weeks and she is taking chemo by mouth daily and also she will be recieving chemo intraveneously every 21 days, I believe. The chemo will also be for 6 weeks. She will then be scheduled for surgery sometime in November.

We got to see her today and she looked sick but better than I expected. The treatment have made her extremely sick and with the mass where it is she is having trouble going to the bathroom which in turn makes her sick. The treatments are also throwing her blood sugar all over the place, she is a diabetic. She is in good spirits though trying to make everyone feel better and letting everyone know that she is okay and would continue to be okay. Her husband Scott is just wonderful. Her son got married today and Scott sat through the entire wedding fanning her. That I tell ya made me want to cry. Mom told him as we were leaving "you take good care of my sister" Scott's reply was I have to she is my wife and this was said with all the love in the world. My aunt Mary and Scott's marraige all kind of blew us away because Scott is 20 years or so younger than her but we could always tell they loved one another. Seeing him with her now just has shown us exactly how much. I am so glad she has him.

Mom is coping some better or she is at least dealing better in front of people. I think it has helped her being able to see Mary the past 2 weekends.

We appreciate all of your prayer for my Aunt Mary and my Mom.

2008-07-25T08:55:00.000-05:00

Overload!

I use this word in every sense that you can. There has been an all out attack on our family. So much is happening that we just cannot understand. I wish there was button I could push or a wand I could wave to make everything better. I the need to fix everything and I cannot fix this and I hate it. I hate feeling powerless!

My mom sister was diagnosed with rectal cancer almost 2 weeks ago. She seen her oncologist for the first time yesterday and they feel that this is a secondary cancer and that she has a primary cancer somewhere else in her body. It makes me want to scream, I just want to know why. Why does this terrible disease keep raging? Why is it taking all of the people we love? What has she done for something like this to be happening? I just don't understand. My aunt is honestly in really good spirits. She is probably doing better than anyone around her. We prayed so hard believing that the biopsy would be negative and that this would not be cancer. But for some reason it was anyway. I just don't understand why these prayers were unanswered. My mom is a wreck and it is so hard seeing her this way. My mom lost her daddy to cancer 14 years ago and she feels like she is reliving it all again. I think the hardest part is seeing my mom not have any hope. You see she works for a general surgeon and she says that they tell people on a weekly basis that they have this horifying disease. Since finding out about Mary she says it is so hard to do what they have to at work. My mom is the strongest person I have ever met, she is an amazing woman. But mostly my mom loves God with her entire being. Right now she is at the point where she doesn't understand why God didn't answer her prayer, why he didn't do something. She feels like if he didn't answer her prayers the first time why would he now. She sees this stuff all the time and she feels hopeless. I so believe that God will do something although I too don't understand why he hasn't yet. I mean what is he waiting on. Cancer is the cruelest disease known to mankind. Knowing what is does and can do terrifies me. I feel so incredibly sad. My heart breaks for my Aunt Mary and also for Mom. I love them both so much and watching them go through this is heartwrenching. I just want to fix this so that they are not hurting anymore. If I could take their burdens I would do it in a minute, it would all be worth it to not see them in such pain, desperation. Our family is going through so much right now would you please just lift us up in prayer.

2008-07-24T09:47:00.000-05:00

BLESSINGS!

I have recieved a couple of awesome blessings this morning and it's only 9:49 a.m. I woke up to my phone beeping at me, text message. When I opened it what did I see "Graduation tomorrow! Oh My Goodness I miss you". It was from Bethany what a wonderful way to start the day. I of course text her back and told I couldn't wait for her to get home, that I missed her like crazy and that I love her. Later after I get to work I got another message which said "I love you too!" My work phone rings a little bit later it was our baby girl, for the first time since April I got to talk to Bethany. It was so good to hear from her, we talked for 15 minutes which went by way to quickly. She told me that she couldn't wait to get home and that she misses her family. She told me she was hoping she would get home sometime Saturday and that she would be joining us in church on Sunday. I cannot wait for her to get here I miss her so much. I believe when she comes in we are going to have to go out and have some much needed girl time. Donnie and the boys are leaving for church camp on Sunday so that won't be hard to do at all.

2008-07-02T10:58:00.000-05:00

Free Stuff I love it!

They were having a drawing yesterday on the local news channel, all you had to do was e-mail the your name, phone number and the town you live in. My sister did this and she won a $50.00 coupon for the new firework store. She called me early this morning and told me they were doing it again so I sent in mine and my hubbies. I didn't win but he did. I am so glad we have these now we get to burn someone else's money this year instead of ours!

2008-06-19T14:01:00.000-05:00

I did it and I love it!

I have been struggling with my hair for a very long time. After I had my hysterectomy in November it started falling out by the handfull. I honestly thought I was going to go bald, seriously. It has just looked bad since, it just hangs there or I put it up in a clip and it is so thin now. Thin hair is not something I am use to at all. I have always had very thick hair. My hair has always been my pride especially the bigger my body got. I had this mind set that at least my hair was pretty. Well my hair was no longer pretty so I cut it all off. I also had it colored for the first time in my entire life and I love it. My sister in law own a hair salon and offered to do it for me. I got a great deal too. She cut it and put 2 colors on it and only charged me $35.00, talk about blown away I was expecting at least $80.00 or more. I mean it did take 2 hours. I'll have to send her a gift certificate or something cause she wouldn't take anymore money. Thank you Angie I really appreciate it!

Her is a picture of my sister and myself last month

and here I am yesterday.

So what do you think? I love this although I do wish I had gone just a little bit shorter.

2008-06-10T15:11:00.001-05:00

Bethany!

As many of you will recall our daughter Bethany joined the National Guards back in March. She left for basic training in early May, but before that we had a huge falling out and to much avail we never could get her to come home or even talk to us on the phone. It has broke my heart that this has happened and I have sent her e-mails letting her know that we just want to put this behind us and have our relationship with her healed. We have not heard from her since the early part of April. I have kept up with her through her brother but as can imagine that is just not what a parent wants.

I was going about my daily routine this morning and stopped at the post office and there it was, it was like receiving a million bucks. A letter from our very own "Private Rucker", the people in the post office probably thought I was nuts because I just starting sobbing. Bethany is doing well, she says she is not having a hard time with anything but the push ups. She said that she really feels like she is where she is suppose to be, she sent her love to all but that's not all she apologized. I just want to grab her and love her. I miss her terribly. Bethany and I never agreed on her going into the National Guards. Although my children may grow up and choose a field that scares me to death they will always be my children and my love for them will never change. I thank God for that letter, for my daughter and for the courage it took for her to have put herself in this place.

I say that I never agreed with Bethany joining the national guards to say this. While vacationing with the boys in Tennessee we went through this museum type thing that had a bunch of Civil War reenactments and such. That I would say was an life altering event for me. I wanted to jump on a plane and go to South Carolina that very moment and talk to my daughter. I could for just a minute see why it is that people join the military. I still don't like the fact that it is my kid that has done it but I do now at least understand. Tonight I will be writing Bethany a letter please pray that God will guide my words as to heal our relationship. I love her and I just want things back like they should be. My love to all!

2008-05-26T14:27:00.001-05:00

I know it has been over a month since I last posted. I have had a lot going on in my life. I will share more with you later. We got in from Memphis at 12:30 this morning and I am trying to get laundry and stuff caught up. We had a really good time. The kids really enjoyed themselves. I will share more with you later. I have over 1000 pictures and video. What did we do before digital camara's. I know we never would have bought that much film. I must go work now so that I will get a check this week. This picture is of the boys and I sitting in front of the Mississppi River on Saturday and boys was it hot. We weren't going to go until next month but I am glad we changed our plans.

This is of Jordan and Eli playing at Mud Island at the River Walk.

2008-05-26T13:36:00.000-05:00

I got this poem in a e-mail and was pretty umm... I don't know wowed by it. So I thought that I would share it with all of you.

Time...

I knelt to pray but not for long, I had too much to do. I had to hurry and get to work, for bills would soon be due. So I knelt and said a hurried prayer, and jumped up off my knees. My Christian duty was now done. My soul could rest at ease.....

All day long I had no time to spread a word of cheer. No time to speak of Christ to friends, they'd laugh at me I'd fear. No time, no time, too much to do, that was my constant cry. No time to give to souls in need but at last the time, the time to die.

I went before the Lord, I came, I stood with downcast eyes. For in his hands God held a book;It was the book of life. God looked into his book and said Your name I cannot find I once was going to write it down...

"But never found the time"

2008-04-22T21:09:00.000-05:00

I finally did it!!

I honestly didn't think it was possible but it finally happened. I have weighed the same for what seems like forever. I got on the scales today and they screamed at me 129. I have wanted to get under 130 pounds so bad and just couldn't. I have never been this small in my adult life, it is absolutely amazing. I took Jordan to the Dr. today and when they weighed him he told me if I worked a little harder we could weigh the same. I just had to laugh at him. I told him I didn't think I needed to weight 108 pounds.. It was really cute!

2008-03-20T09:30:00.000-05:00

THIS STINKS I MEAN IT, IT REALLY STINKS!

I don't even know where to start. As most of you know my husband has an 18 year old daughter, her name is Bethany. Bethany came into my life when she was only 5 years old. So as you can imagine as the years has gone we have became not only by marraige but by building a relationship mother and daughter. Bethany turned 18 in January and the fun really began. I hope you can hear the sarcasm in my voice. She had literally turned into this kid that we don't recognize anymore. Okay so I know that I wasn't the easiest child to raise and that I nearly gave my parent a heart attack when I married my husband whom already had 2 children when I was only 19 but I promise you I was listening to God. I mean look at us 11 1/2 years later. We are doing wonderfully and love each other more than we did then. I see Bethany running with the wrong kids, doing things I never would have dreamed of. Then she sends me a text message last Friday(here is the kicker) she wants to know what I think about her joining the National Guards. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR First off all of my kids know where mamma stands on this, they don't have to ask. Secondly she don't really want to know she just want to get my blood to boiling. So anyway we end up in a very heated discussion while I am still at work no less that continues all the way through my grocery shopping trip. I finally calm down and pray about this situation and realize nothing I can say to this child will ever change what she is going to do. I sent her an e-mail letting her know that I really thought she needed to pray about this. I also told her that no matter what her decision that I wanted her to know that I would always be there for her because I love her so very much. I may not have carried that kid in my womb but I will forever carry her in my heart. She has since done her best to convince me that this is the best thing for her and there is nothing I can do to change her mind. She is going next week to get her physical and sign the final papers. It breaks my heart that she is doing this but I know that I can't do anything to stop it.

2008-03-18T22:28:00.000-05:00

I wanted to share this picture of Hayden with all of you. I had just given him a bath which by the way he absolutley loves and I was holding him out in front of me talking to him and he was looking back at me right in the eyes just smiling. It is probably one of my favorite picture there is. It is just one of those special moment. Hayden and I have gotten so close and have gotten such a special bond. I just love him so much.

Ahh, sweet baby!! (please ignore the yuck wrinkled skin on my face, I have a lot of excess skin since my weight loss).

2008-03-18T22:16:00.001-05:00

My how we have grown!

This picture was taken the day after Hayden was born!

This was was taken a couple of weeks ago!

2008-02-10T11:11:00.000-06:00

Just a quiet Saturday night at home or so I thought!

The boys were watching cartoons in their room, Bethany was at work, Donnie was at a board meeting at the church, Brenton had just left to go to a ball game at Rock Creek and I was just fixing to make dinner. I was then going to work on my transcription stuff so I wouldn't have to mess with it today. I had the hardest time deciding what to cook and finally choose chicken and rice(the little boys favorite). I was browning the rice when the phone rang. I was by this time of the day so irritated by the phone, it had done nothing but rang all day, but I was thinking at least the house isn't full of 7 year olds anymore. When I answered it my heart sank. It was our oldest son Brenton and his voice was so shakey, I could tell he was trying not to cry. He said Bev I am okay but we have been in a wreck but I'm okay. He is so much like his daddy in this area, he was trying to protect me and play it off like he was fine. I asked him if he was sure he was okay he said he was alright but that his collar bone was hurting. He wanted to know if he needed to call an ambulance. I ask him how bad it was and he said it wasn't that bad. I told him I was on my way. I turned dinner off and hollered at chris and told him Brent had been in a wreck and ask him to watch the boys. I don't know what I was thinking or how it even worked but I was driving down the road talking to my mom on our house phone. I called his Donnie and told him what was going on and he said he would meet me there. It seemed like it took me forever to get to him. I couldn't drive fast enough and in the dark it was worse. When I finally got there, all I seen was all these flashing lights. Can you say adrenaline? I had to park a little ways back away from the site so I took off running toward the cars and the first thing I see is a little ford focus with the front all bashed in and the passenger side windsheild busted. I told the officer I was looking for my son, he told me he was up there in a police car but he was fine. He also told me not to run because they had to wet the road down and didn't want me to fall. I then seen this kid of mine emerge from all of these flashing lights but instead of this 5 foot 8 nearly grown stature I see this 3 year old. He at that point was like that baby boy not so rough and gruff. He was obviously injured. The fireman told me he thought that his collar bone was broken. We were walking away and I hear his name being called rather quietly. It was his little lady Kassie. What a way to meet the parents, huh? After speaking to Kassie and her mom for a minute, and just telling each other how grateful we were that our children were still alive(did I mention that this was a head-on collision) and how vehicle can be replaced, we went and got in the van. I told him how pretty I thought Kassie was and I meant every word I wasn't just trying to make him feel better. Brenton and I met up with Donnie a couple of miles down the road and brought his car home as it was on our way to the hospital. In the light you could look at his collar bone and see that is was broken, didn't need an x-ray for that. He was and is in so much pain. We took him on over to the hospital and they were really good about taking him in ahead of everyone else. But they made him wait until after they did a head CT to give him any pain meds. I told Donnie while Brenton was back there having the CT done I said how many teeth is that tech gonna have missing when he gets back. Brent's not a mean kid but he was hurting so bad and they were moving him around and wouldn't do anything to help his pain. Brent was good and the guy didn't loose any teeth. He does however have a broken collar bone, it is also displaced so we have to go see an orthopedic surgeon this week. They said his CT was fine but I still think he has a consusion. Kassie broke her wrist and had to get 5 stitches in her leg. Please remeber these kids in your prayers as they are healing and I will update you with anything new as we find out with Brenton. I thank God that he has his hands on my kids, I don't know why Satan is trying to take them from me but I refuse to let them go. We gave them to God a long time ago and believe that he will see them through. God Bless you all.

2008-02-10T09:51:00.000-06:00

As many of you know I am the city clerk and court clerk here in the town we live. So with that come this stupid police radio that sits on my desk. I hate this thing and I never use it, I just have to leave it on. Well anyway Friday I had to go around 1 pm or so and get a shot for a migraine and then I went back to work. This stupid radio talks all the time its all of bryan county, grayson county, fire dept, ems, you know all that stuff. I usually just tune it out but I was feeling unusually ditsy (drugged) Friday and I sitting there at my desk and I hear a familiar name come across this thing and then he spells it. I look up at the cop sitting across the room from me and just as nonchalontly as can be say I bet my kid is in that car because that is her best friend. He said sweetie you do realize that was an accident don't you. OH MY GOODNESS NO I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT WAS ACCIDENT!!! ARE YOU CRAZY, DO YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD BE SITTING HERE LIKE THIS IF I DID. Then to top it off because I just wasn't my self I couldn't find my cellphone so I could call her. So when I finally got ahold of myself I found my phone. She answers her phone so calmly. I was like Bethany where are you, she said with Deanna and I cut her off I was like are you okay I know you were just in an accident. You know my kids have to hate the fact that I have all of that first hand information. Well needless to say she was floored, why should she be shocked! She should expect those things. Thank God everyone was okay. It didn't even hurt the truck they hit. My theory (now that I am the parent and not the kid) teenager and vehicle don't mix. Did I mention since August this is the 5th accident for our family. Mom, Jordan, Eli and myself were rear ended in Dallas, Mom got whiplash and the rest of us were fine. Brenton was in a motorcycle accident in September and ripped is arm open, he had to have stitches. Bethany total her car in October, she walked away fine praise the Lord. In December Donnie and I were coming home from church one Sunday night and a deer took out the whole front end of his little toyota tercel. Then Friday Bethany is riding home from school with some friends and bam Deanna pulls out and hits a pick up. What in the world is going on. I have no clue! But I do know that I serve a MIGHTY GOD WHO HAS IT ALL IN CONTROL.

2008-02-04T23:33:00.000-06:00

Sickness!!!!!

So I knew Eli wasn't feeling well yesterday and I thought he may be running a low temp but he was still running around and playing like normal. We get up for school this morning and Eli gets up and comes over to give mommy a hug and I could tell he was warm. I got the thermometer out and sure enough he temp was almost 102. You must understand this child doesn't run a fever, we often say he must be half dead if he has a fever. It must happen today when there is no way I could take off of work. I work for the city and today was traffic court, thankfully his daddy is working nights right now so he could stay home but it was getting him to the pediatrician. Well daddy go up at lunch and took him over to the pediatrician, I honestly thought it was a sinus infection. My co-worker came over and whispered in my ear during court Eli has the flu and your sister said make sure to keep him away from the baby. Great a seven year old with the flu and trying to keep him away from a seven week old this is going to be real fun. When I came in tonight from work guess what Jordan doesn't fell good he sound just like Eli did yesterday. Sounds like the fun is just begining. Just please pray that the baby doesn't catch this and that the boys recover quickly!

2008-01-14T22:16:00.000-06:00

Weight

I know it's been a long while but I thought I'd give an update on how things are going. My weight loss is going extremely well I weigh between 132-135 depending on the day never know what the scales are going to say or what causes the change. I cannot wait for some nicer weather outside so I can start going to the track again and I really think despite what my hubby said I am going to look into a weight set. I have all this nasty gross jiggling hanging skin and surely I can tighten some of that up with some toning exercises and muscle gain. I still cannot believe this is my body. I purchased the first pair of size 4 I have ever bought and or wore in my entire life the other day. That felt absolutely amazing. Donnie and I went to a New Years Party at his job and I bought them for that. They fit better than any pants I've ever put on before and I couldn't believe that they were a size 4. I have never wore that size not even growing up. Can you scream amazed. I sure can. Well anyways enough about that. Love to all.

2008-01-14T22:02:00.000-06:00

House Guest!!

It's been way to long I know and I don't even know where to start. First off this is our last week as just our little family by the end of the week we will have grown by three, yep that's right three. Hey it could be worse they could triplets. I guess I should explain, We have invited my Cousin Lindsay(the one who had the precious little baby last month), her hubby Chris, and their baby Hayden to come live with us for a while. We have an enclosed garage that I used to use when I was doing daycare here but have since been using it for storage since I don't do daycare anymore and my husband children use half of it when they come for over to visit. So I just bunk thier beds in the boys rooms and put my stuff out in the storage shed, moved the 4-wheelers out of the shed to my dad garage behing our house and threw a bunch of stuff away. So now we are set for them to move in this coming weekend. Oh and adjust to life with a baby in the house again. I am kind of excited about that part. Since we can't have anymore babies of our own we can have loads of fun with this one. On a more serious note I figure since I get up about the time the baby gets up for his 2nd night time feeding I would take over that one if his mommy wanted me too so she could only have to do 1 at night and get more than 3 straight hours of sleep.

Donnie just went back on night shift so it will be nice to have someone here in the evenings to talk to besides the kids. My kids have gotten to the point where they just want to play until they are made to come in and bath and go to bed anyway, so when he works night I am alone. Pathetic huh!

2007-12-28T23:43:00.000-06:00

O' What a blessing!

God sure knew what he was doing when he put little Hayden into our lives. I never thought I could love another child even close to the way I love my boys but Hayden sure has gotten a pretty big part of my heart.

I called his mommy today and asked her if I could come get him for a few hours tonight after I got off work. She of course didn't mind, so I took him to Sears and had his pictures done. Tomorrow is our family Christmas with my mom's family and I wanted to suprise his mommy with them for for Christmas. I am so excited I cannot wait.

It was really funny trying to get this one with his diaper off. He was dry when I took it off of him and I told them I had had him for 2 hours and he was still dry. So they had fair warning. I no longer got him on his tummy till my sister started yelling for a diaper. He pooped right in her hand. It was hilarious. Then before the shot was over he peed all over the black curtain. Poor lady from Sears! I don't know a baby boy that don't pee on everything the minute you uncover that thing..

So what do you guys think about the pictures, my favorite is the one on top.

He looks like popoye in this one!

We actually caught a smile and he is only 13 days old, can you believe it!

I know they are identical but I love the black and white.
Aww precious baby!

He is showing his old man wrinkles in this one.

This Picture with this background and this outfit bring back so many memories.

My mom got this outfit for my oldest son to come home from the hospital in, we then had him dedicated in it and then his picture made in it with this background. We also repeated this picture with Eli. So when I snuck off with Hayden tonight I couldn't help but bring the little outfit along although it has seen it's better days.

2007-12-26T07:09:00.000-06:00

SANTA CAME TO VISIT US YESTERDAY!!!

Here is a picture of Hayden and myself yesterday at our christmas lunch. Isn't he the most adorable Santa you've ever seen.

This is Hayden with his Mommy! She is my baby cousin Lindsay and she is a wonderful little mommy, Hayden is very blessed to have her.

2007-12-15T22:18:00.000-06:00

Here is what we spent the day doing today. His name is Hayden Christopher, He was born by C-Section around 6pm tonight and weighed 7 pound 13 ounces he is 20 inches long. He is my baby cousin Lindsay's baby. It sure don't seem like she should be having a baby but I couldn't be more proud. She and her hubby Chris are going to make wonderful parent's and they love this little man so much. They are so cute with him and about him already. Today was a really hard day for them as will the next few I am sure so please remember them in ur prayers.

2007-12-10T12:14:00.000-06:00

Soreness!!!

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Well I finally got someone to do something about it. After many phone call and a lot of frustration. I finally just gave up and went in and seen my pcp. I had an infection where my ovary use to be and after a week of antibiotics I feel fine. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers.

2007-11-28T20:30:00.000-06:00

Weigh In!

So I weighed today for the first time since I left the hospital almost 3 weeks ago and to be honest I was terrified to get on the scales. I left the hospital weighing 147 lbs which was up 10 pounds. I knew alot of that was fluid but I also have not been able to exercise or anything. I have also not been in a pair of jeans that were not made out of that streghty material and at least a size or two bigger than what I have been wearing because anything that actually fits hurts my tummy. I honestly have been wearing work out pant the majorety of the time. Then the kids were home for over a week and then we had Thanksgivin and my momma is the best cook in the world. I really did try not to overeat. When I got on the scales tonight I weighed 138. So I was pleased, now if I could just get over this stupid soreness so I could get back to exercising.

My Dr. released me to go back to work yesterday and I feel like it set me back more than a week as far as the pain, or there is something wrong. I don't know I just know something has to give.

2007-11-17T00:05:00.000-06:00

PLEASE GO AWAY!!!

We have had a sick kid everyday for a week and I want this to go away. I got out of the hospital last friday and that evening had to go back to the pharmacy to pick up some medication. Eli went with us(he had an extremely had time with me being gone but that's another blog) he was standing down the aisle from where Donnie and I were and I looked down at him and I told Donnie he's got fever go feel of him. I was moving really slow it was easier for him to do it. He said he does feel kinda hot, so I grabbed some motrin and a themometer and we headed home. His temp was almost 103 and we are talking about a kid that don't run fever, he has to be nearly dead to have a fever. So this went on all weekend, I took him into the peditrician on Monday and they said it was croup and did a quick strep swap on him. The strep came back negative but with everything he had going on they put him on antibiotics to get him cleared up. They always sent there quick streps out to be cultured, on Thursday the results came back positive. That kiddo was fighting strep which I almost knew just because he go so sick. Well fast foward 12 hours, Jordan isn't feeling well, Jordan isn't sleeping, Jordan has a sore throat. So we get him some antibiotics cause it is obvious that he has strep also and the first dose he keeps telling me my tummy hurts and I feel sick. I just assumed the meds were making him feel that way so we are driving down the road and I tell Donnie pull over and let him go in here and see if he can go to the bathroom and see if that will help. He pucked all over the braums lobby floor and sidewalk. I called the Dr. once again and they said that sometimes strep itself can do that to you. I was terrified to give him the 2nd dose of antibiotics but what do you do. So I kept waiting for the tummy ache and praise God it never came. So I guess it was just the strep itself. Please say a prayer for my kids I need them well so mommy can get some rest and get well herself. I love my babies and I hate them being sick.

2007-11-16T22:15:00.000-06:00

My kiddo's are making me hurt myself!

Today we went bargain hunting and I have to say we did find some pretty good deals. I got a really big suit case, really nice too for $5.00. The boys are now using it to entertain themselves. I am lying in my bed and I hear Eli scream Jordan I'm upside down, I'm upside down. Eli had gotten inside the suitcase and Jordan had zipped him in there and had picked it up into position to pull it on the wheels and it toppled him on his head cause he got in it backwards for that. I didn't even have to get up and go look I knew what they had done and I was lying laughing or trying to because the first chuckle and I nearly fell out I couldn't believe that it was so painful. Oh my goodness there must be stitches on the inside or something cause when I laughed oh lets just say I hope they don't do anything funny again for a couple more weeks. No I'm just kidding I like my kids to have a good time.

We also got a new computer for the kids today. Donnie is what we call out computer geek and can fix almost anything that is wrong with one so they had this one on and it was workng it was just really slow. We were like huh we know how to fix that and it's a cheap fix so we went ahead and bought it being it was only $50.00. When he got it home and hooked up it appears that it belong to some kids that downloaded a bunch of junk on it and it has a lot of virus but he know how to clean it up so I was greatful for that find. Sometimes 1 computer or even 2 computers just isn't enough. They don't like it cause I won't let them on my lap top but I bought it for work and it has all my work stuff on it and I am so afraid someone will do something to mess it up, so I opt to not let anyone on it. We do have a desktop but when you have 2 kids wanting on the internet of the kids and the hubby man it gets to be a pain when they get old enough to realize what the internet is. But there school has given them so much access to different websites that teach them while they are having fun how do you say no. So I can't wait to have that going.

I also got my cousin a walker and a exersaucer for her new baby who is due in December for $4.oo a peice. Of course they need to be cleaned up but hey for $8.00 vs. $80.00 they would have cost new I can clean up some toys. I was really glad to come upon this find. I have been collecting baby items for her for the past couple of months and I tell you God has just really blessed up with stuff for Hayden. We seen this need and just decided to do what we could and I asked around to a few ladies I knew that had babies in the last year or two and they were so generous. I lady I know gave us a bassinett, changing table and a trash bag full of newborn to 0-3 clothes for this baby. I offered to pay her for them but she wouldn't take anything for them. She called me a couple of days later and said she was cleaning out her cabinets and came across some brand new bottles that her baby wouldn't take and wanted to know if we wanted them. I was like sure but please let me give you something for all of this. She said if someone hadn't given it to me when I had the boys I wouldn't have it so just pass it on to someone who can use it when your done, and holler at me when you can start exercising again because I really need someone to exercise with. I haven't seen her in quite a while until a few weeks ago and she has lost as much weight as I have but she doesn't have anyone to exercise with so I can't wait until I can get back into that.

We also got the boys some rollerblades for $2.50 a pair. They are so funny! They were so excited, because they had outgrown their old ones but I was actually waiting until christmas to replace them and when I paid for these Eli said mom I promise I will pay you back for these. Like $2.50 is going to break his mommy.

2007-11-15T17:34:00.000-06:00

You asked and here they are!

Here are a few pictures taken probably about 6 weeks ago.

Here I am working, I love my new lap top. I got this for my birthday in September.

These were taken after my hysterectomy, man am I pale. I'm thinkin I may need some Vitamins. My tummy is still pretty swollen. uggg

2007-11-11T10:12:00.000-06:00

Peace, Quiet, Stillness and yet why can't I enjoy it.....

It's Sunday morning and I have sent my family off to church is why... I am so suppose to be with them but after the last few day I know that I cannot sit through Sunday School and then morning worship.. My body for one is so sore and stiff it would never make it. I feel like a old lady( no offense to anyone out there but this is for the birds). Secondly I fall asleep at the drop of a hat and I believe that would be quite embarrassing. So I sent my Hubby and boys off this morning without me.

I knew I had a great husband but he has really proved himself over the last few days (not that he had to). I had my hysterectomy on Thursday morning and so not to interrupt the boys schedules to much I got up early that morning and went over and had my mom drive me to the hospital. Donnie stayed home so he could get the boys off to school and he got to the hospital in plenty of time before I went back to surgery. He and mom were the first faces I remember seeing when I woke up, they were standing out in the hallway waiting on me as they pulled me out of the recovery room. The hospital didn't have an private rooms available so they put me in the Pediatric unit in a semi-private room. They did that cause they knew they wouldn't put another adult back there(it's a locked unit and my mom is a nurse at the hospital so they did it as a favor so that noone else would be put in the room with us). But beings we were in a semi-private room it was against the fire code to put a sleeping chair in the room and I couldn't convince my sweet hubby I was ok enough that he could leave. We had a really bad nurse during the day that treated me as someone who was there seeking drugs and never could get her to do anything about all the pain I was in. My poor hubby slept in 2 chairs 1 for his body and 1 for legs. Needless to say he didn't get much rest that night. I don't know how he did it. Then he came home to take the boys to school, got me breakfast and came back up there. He was exhausted.

I don't know how many of you have been through a hysterectomy but man o man this is nothing compared to what I was expecting. I just know it has to get better. They ended up having to take everything out except 1 ovary. They were going to leave both of them but when they got in there 1 of my fallopian tubes was covered with cysts, she tried just removing the cyst but it caused so much bleeding that they just had to remove the entire thing. I didn't expect it to hurt so much being there weren't any external incisions but afterwards I was told there were lots of major muscles cut internally it why it hurts to much. Like with everything I ever have done my bladder went haywire. They came in and took the catheter out on friday morning and 6 hours later I still hadn't went to the bathroom. Big shock to me, I knew that this was going to be an issue, it always is. Of course the evil day nurse was back and I couldn't get her to do anything. So I called my little sister who is a RN and happens to work at clinic branched off of the hospital just to see if she had any ideas. She told me she'd call me right back. She called me back and told me she had called and talked to the nurse at my Dr.'s office and that my Dr. was standing right there the entire conversation. It wasn't but a few minutes that the "day nurse" came down and said this is what Dr. Chambers called and said to do and listed some stuff and then she said and by the way I wasn't ignoring you I was just helping someone admitt a baby. I never said she was ignoring me, she just wasn't doing her job, she didn't care that I was hurting and when I did ask for meds she treated me like I was drug seeking and to top it all off she treated me like it was my fault that I couldn't make my bladder work. So I came home friday without being able to pee(my mom and sis. are both nurses) I had to be straight cathed twice, which hurts like crazy. When I woke up on Saturday morning I thought I was dying, I guess being we didn't sleep any on Thursday night I just slept straight thru on Friday night and on Saturday morning I was hurting so bad. I got up and went straight to the bathroom and was actually able to tinkle a little, hey a little is better than nothing. So I took a pain pill and drink some milk thinking that is wouldn't make me sick. I went to mom's and got into her tub(her's is deep and covers up my tummy really well) that stupid pain pill made me so sick. Lesson learned no matter how bad your hurting don't take the meds without food on board. Then I had to take some phenegran to make my tummy settle down. None of this was pleasent. After all this medicine I pretty much slept all day yesterday. I did wake up feeling a little better today, I am still very sore and very tired. In fact I just took a shower and that took all the energy I had so I think I am going to go take a nap before everyone comes in. Thank you for your prayers, and please continue to uplift us.

2007-11-02T09:59:00.000-05:00

So I went to go pre-register for my surgery for next week and they wanted my driver's license. She looks at it and after a few minutes she said "I really had to study this a few times to tell whether or not this was even you, you really need to have this redone." So I took her advice and here is the before and after.

This was taken yesterday, after 52 lbs of weight loss!!!

This was taken in September of last year. What can I say, this was just plain awful. Thank God I decided to get healthier and more fit.

2007-10-25T22:57:00.000-05:00

(WARNING THIS POST IS NOT SOMETHING MEN ARE GOING TO WANT TO READ)

So the story of my madness goes on....

I think my life just continues to get crazier and crazier. I for as long as I can remember have had just horrible cycles. I have been through every kind of therapy imaginable to treat the symptoms and slow the flow. I have been on the pill, got the depo shot, had the monthly shot, had and IUD place, I even took the pill where u don't stop but like ever 3 months or so, then last year I had an endometrial ablation. That was suppose to make things better although there were no guarantees. Well here we are 18 months later and the ablation only lasted about 8-10 months before my cycle picked back up and started hurting so bad again that I cannot stand them. I have also started having horrible migrains associated with them. I mean I do have migrains anyway but they are typically controlled with an anti-convolsant but lately with my cycle I have breakthough migraines with visual distrubances. So my doctor has told me this week that we have exhausted all of my options and the only thing left to do is to remove my uterus. I almost knew when I went over there she was going to say that but it just made me feel different when she did. It's not like I have any need for it because I cannot have anymore children anyway as much as I would like to and I know it will probably make me feel better something has to. So I am scheduled to have a hysterectomy on November 8th. They are going to do their best to do it vaginally please pray that they will be able to do it this way I do not want to be cut on and if they are able to do it this way I will only be off of work for 2 weeks vs. if they have to cut me open I will have to be off 6-8 weeks. The upside to this is I will be off of work while my boys are out of school for Thanksgiving break so I don't have to worry about a babysitter. Yeah!!!!

2007-10-25T22:51:00.000-05:00

Weight In

I know it's been a while but I got on the scales just out of curiosity because I've not had a very good week and we are talking shoes fully clothes in denim jeans and all and I wieghed 137.4 this afternoon. So now I am really curious what it will say in the morning.

2007-10-24T22:27:00.000-05:00

My life is MADNESS!!!!!!!!

Oh my where do I begin, oh hang on I'm going to start by changing in to pj's and getting into bed. Ok that's much better. Now where to begin leading u on this path of madness. I guess we will start with today.

So this morning started out crazy just like everyother morning, it wasn't as bad as normal because I actually got up at 5:30 when the alarm went off so I could be ready before I had to get the boys up. I got the boys up and off to school and on my drive back from the bus stop I remembered that I needed to take some paper by my husband's ex-wives house at lunch(I do most of the communicating with her, she and I get along really good most of the time and she and Donnie don't, so it is just easier for all parties involved this way) but I wanted to make sure she was going to be there and I knew the kids should still be home so I called Bethany this is my 17-year-daughter by marraige and I could immediately tell something was really wrong she was either extremely sick or had been fighting with her mom and step-dad but I couldn't really understand her so I told her I would call her back on their home phone. When I called her back she told me she had a wreck the night before and totalled her new car. She told me it really wasn't her fault but that the police said that she she ran a stop sign and she was placed at fault and given a ticket for running a stop sign. Of course me being a mom told her everthing was going to be alright and just wanted to know that she was ok. She said she was fine just bruised and sore. I told her to have her mom call me when she got up and that I had to go to work but to call me if she needed anything. When her mom called me she told me that Bethany pulled out in front of a F-350 and when it saw her it got changed lanes in hopes to not hit her but that it still got her and we are talking she pulled out onto a 4 lane highway where people are killed in accidents it seems lately on a weekly basis. Bethany said they had a blinker on and she thought they were getting off of the highway. Our friend Ronda was right across the street when it happened and she said if the truck had hit her 1 foot closer toward the driver it would have killed her or if the car had not have stopped when it did it would have landed with the driver side of the car wrapped around a light pole and therefore she probably would have not walked away from that either. I know that these kids belong to my husband but after 11 years of marraige and a 2 year relationship before that those kids have been in my life forever and when I brought their daddy into my life I brought them into as well and just the thought that we could possibly be planning our daughters funeral instead of her prom, homecoming, dances, carnivals, graduations, college, and wedding kills me. I just praise God for sending his angels down onto Hwy 69/75 in Calera, Ok at 11:00 p.m. last night because without them I truly believe we would be without our daughter tonight. There are not many people who walk away from wrecks where she wrecked unharmed. Thank you God for you protection on my family, my friends, and my children!!!!

2007-10-11T00:41:00.000-05:00

So last night I'm sitting here starting to write this and my cell phone starts ringing and I just almost jump through the roof. First off it was almost midnight and no one ever calls me that late, second the kids are obviously asleep and third my mind start racing about what could be wrong. I seen that it was my husband (he works nights) so I figured no big deal he just wanted to talk. I don't think I could have been further from wrong. I swear when he started talking I really at first wasn't even comprehending what he was saying, all I hear is evacuation, bomb, sniper. So I stop him and I ask him WHO IS THIS? I mean honestly this can't be my husband. Then I'm like OK now I need you to start over from the very beginning. He said that one of the guys that works with him left for lunch at 11:30ish p.m. and when he stepped out of the back door of the building he actually stepped on someone and all of a sudden he had a very big gun being held on him. You see when Chris(my husband co-worker) stepped out of the door he stepped on a sniper and and the sniper just flipped over and drew his gun on Chris. Up until Chris left for lunch no one even knew there was anything going on outside at that point that sniper told Christ to get out of there. Chris was like do I go back inside or do I leave and they made him get into a vehicle and leave. At that point they realized there were people inside the building and they evacuated it. You see they had chased a guy and stopped him directly outside Donnie's job and were in a stand off with him and he was armed with a bomb. They evacuated them out a side door by foot because where they had this person is where the employees park. After about 4 hours they somehow got there cars to them. They were never allowed back into their job last night. This man was not subdued until 5:30 this morning more than 7 1/2 hours after it began. The worst part of it is he had just gotten out of a mental hospital from being lock up from doing the same thing in Sherman 8 years ago at the police department where he was to serve a 10 year sentence and he did 8 years of it in a mental institution because he has schizophrenia. He was also charged with capital murder but they had to drop that charge because he was mentally unstable. I just don't understand how someone can do things like this and be put in and institutions for it and get out and turn around and do the same thing over again and they system probably won't do anything more to this time than they did last time. It just really burns me up. I guess more so because you know I thank God he took care of my family last night but the unthinkable could have happened and it would have totally been because they thought for one reason or another that this man was stable enough to be back out in society.

Donnie came in and let me know when he got home around 3am and scared the foey out of me. But as he drove into town he said there was this car the kept swerving all over the road behind him and getting right on his tail. You know for some reason or another last night was just not a night he should have been out. I just praise God for keeping his protection on him. For keeping his hands on him and guiding his steps.

I have lots more crazy stories to share with you from over the last month. I have just been so busy. But it is way past my bedtime girls. Love you all.

Logzie I am so excited about the prospects of the relationship between you and your sister. I have only one sister and that is it she is my best est buddy, and I don't know what I would do without her. I do hope that you and your sister can find something like what we have. I know these relationship's take time to build but O' how amazing they are. There honestly is none like them in the world.

2007-09-17T20:13:00.000-05:00

So many ask but do they really want to know!

I started this lifestyle change as I like to call it the first of June and when I started I weighed (I can't believe I'm doing this) 191 and today I weigh 146. So needless to say I have lost a lot of weight really fast. So for some reason people think I have found this instant cure. They come up to me and say so Beverly what are you doing and when I start telling them that I have changed my diet such as they way I cook(no oil, no butters, no fatty meats, starchy food, things such as that) and I exercise every day, it's like I loose them. They go somewhere else, like they expected something else. I honestly have done this by a total lifestyle change. I have changed everything. I don't use sugar for anything anymore, I have changed to skim milk( I buy 2% for the kids), I fix a lot of the same meals we use to have I have just changed the way I prepare them. I just don't use butter or margarine I use I can't believe it's not butter spray. I eat earth grain vegetable fiber grain bread. I have changed so many things I don't think I could ever list them all. But the main thing it I am committed to being a healthier, happier me. I don't want to die young from a preventable disease that my diet and some exercise could have changed. It's amazing how people almost expect me to say I'm on drugs or something. I just can't believe it. I count everything I put in my mouth, I don't drink anything but water, and I exercise daily. That is all I do. I am at a point where things have slowed down but I knew that I would get to this point but I am no quitter and I will carry on. I have about another 20 pounds to loose but I already feel so much better. I just want to thank everyone for their encouragement and kind words during this, it has helped so much. Just a short story before I go, I was sitting at my desk the other day and a older man came in to pay his water bill. He looked at me and ask me where the lady that normally worked here was, I looked back at him and told him I was sitting right there. He looked at me and was like Oh my goodness Hun you've lost a lot of weight are you ok, your not sick or anything are you. After I told him I was fine I was just taking better care of myself, he told me how much better I looked and that I didn't even look like myself. I thought that was amazing that I had changed so much that people didn't even recognize me.

2007-08-29T22:53:00.000-05:00

If it werent' for bad luck!

So Jordan got to come out of his thumb splint on or around this past friday.(if you remember he had broken it playing tether ball) On Sunday he and Elijah went to a back to school party with some friends from down the street. I had to get some work done so their mom took everyone. Donnie called me about 4 and said Jordan had called and said he had thought his nose was broken. Well my immediate reaction was do I need to go get him. He said no Jordan said he was fine and he wanted to stay. So I thought OK if his nose was broke there was no way he was fine and was wanting to stay down there. I go back to my work and finish you know like 2 hours later. The boys come home, Jordan never even mention his nose, we had some other stuff come up, Donnie gets home from church, mom and Angie come over, then he decides it's time for his nose to be looked at. One look at it and anyone could tell it was obviously broken. I mean it had a huge knot on it and it was swollen. So instead of spending the evening in the ER I dosed him good with Motrin put him to bed (my sister works for our pediatrician) and had him in the pediatricians office 1st appointment of the day, well 2nd because we were running late. We then had to sit for over 2 hours in the radiologist office waiting on an X-Ray of his nose. So yep it broke , we already knew that. He cant, play sports for 6-weeks, after the 3 weeks he just came off of and he is really mad because it is soccer and basketball season. So pray that we will be able to tolerate him through this, because if his nose become dislocated he will have to have surgery on it and we have been though enough with him lately.

2007-08-22T04:04:00.000-05:00

Update!

30 down, I have lost 30 pounds and would like to loose at least another 30. I can't tell you how good that it feels. It's become a little harder now that the boys are back in school, because I was getting up before they would get up and exercising and if I did that now I would have to get up at 5am and and most mornings I am not capable of that, so I am having to get into a new routine. This has been one of the more exciting adventures of my life. It's amazing what you can accomplish in such a short amount of time.

2007-08-17T22:26:00.000-05:00

Stupid People!!!

OK I know I teach my children not to use these words but today it just fit. So today Jordan had an appointment in Dallas for some test. We drive the 1 1/2 there and I guess he was overwhelmed with the mass of the MRI machine and it scared him to death. After an hour of mom and I pleading, threating, bribing (you name it we did it) him to lay down let them do the test I got so frustrated with him an walked into a different room. I was actually getting ready to leave and I needed a minute to breath. I was sitting on a couch out in the lobby and I hear him stop crying and talking to the radiologist about this test, the next thing I know Jordan is in the MRI machine calm and having the test done. Now please remind me why we went through what we did for the last hour. Kids are complicated little people.

When we were finished we took the boys to Toys R Us because I had $50.00 on a gift certificate from christmas of last year and I figured while were in Dallas we may as well stop and spend it because we don't have a Toys R Us here. The boys finally decided on a remote control air plane for Jordan and a remote control Lightning McQueen, that spent the gift certificate I just had to buy batteries.

So here is where the stupid person comes in. We get on the highway headed home and the traffice was crazy. Here it is around 4:15 and we are headed home at like 25-35 miles an hour with cars everywhere. We drive for about 20-2 5 minutes let everyone know we were on our way home when all of a sudden we feel this huge jolt from behind. A very stupid person reended us. I don't think this guy was paying attention at all. We were at a stand still when he hit us and he hit us hard. I don't think he ever braked. Mom was driving and kinda freaked out, did I mention we had borrowed my sister's car to go down there in. We are on a either four or five lane highway all the way in the far left lane. I go to get out of the car to see what kind of damage this person has done cause you can see the whole front of his car is bashed in. So I get out and thank God it doesn't look real bad but there are deep cuts on the bumper and it was pulled loose in one spot, you can also tell that his car went up and under ours. We were in a escape he was in a corolla so we sat up alot taller than him. I just hope it didn't hurt anything under our car. It took the cops 40-45 minutes to get there and they just wanted us to exchange insurance information and go on our way. Mom started exchanging information with this guy but here I am thinking UMM I DON'T THINK SO!! You see I work for the local police department and have seen and heard enough to know that the insurance company is going to want an accident report for claims. This officer even tried to talk mom out of telling her they had to send those into the state and it would reflect on her insurance. So what dude do it anyway that is your job. So when he finally starts taking information and all the info that guy had given mom was either different than what he was given the police or incomplete. When the cops check their insurance card the car he was driving wasn't even on the policy, who would have guessed, probably everyone standing there. But I don't get it the cop didn't give this guy a ticket for hitting us or for not having insurance. The guy that his us had the nerve to tell the cop well she stopped right in front of me. He acted like it was mom's fault he slammed into us. The traffic stopped and apparently he didn't get the message that you stop when the car in front of you stops. The entire time we were out there this guy was messing with his cell phone, I mean even when the cop went to get his license and insurance info he was messing with his phone. I'm sure he was pulling this going down the highway and not paying attention and slam, he hit us. I just thank God everyone was alright. Jordan got a little bump on his head from it hitting the window but other than being shaken up we are all physically fine. I also thank God that we took my sister's care today, had we been in my mom's car with as hard as he hit us he probably would have ended up in the backseat right where my boys were sitting. It's so amazing how he takes care of us even when we don't realize it. I mean why did we take this care and not the other one. I say God guided us and that is why. He's amazing.

2007-08-15T09:14:00.000-05:00

It's time again!

The boys went back to school today, the funny thing is I am always more nervous than they are. I think I'm even more nervous this year because rumor is Jordan's teacher is really hard on the kids and I don't know how he will handle that. Jordan has a really hard time with reading. I honestly think he has dyslexia but can't convince the school, so that they will test him and the testing privately is up and around $1000.00 and I just can't do that right now with all the medical stuff he is going through. Eli also has a new teacher this year but Jordan had her in summer school last year so I am pretty comfortable with that, if I remember correctly she was really sweet. Eli's class didn't find out about this new teacher until they got to school this morning(2 days ago it was another teacher whom they all new) and there were alot of unhappy kids there this morning. Eli did great though, he is such an easy kid. There is a little girl in his class, this morning she was so cute, I was standing across the classroom from where she was and I guess she was trying to get my attention and I didn't notice her, here in a minute I hear Ms. Eli, Ms. Eli do you like my new shoes. I thought that was so cute. I will try to post some pictures later.

2007-08-15T08:44:00.000-05:00

“The Pearl Necklace”

The cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them: a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.

"Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please!" Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face. "A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma."

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.
Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere ~ Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?" "Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you." "Then give me your pearls." "Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess ~the white horse from my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one you gave me. She's my favorite." "That's okay, Honey. Daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.

About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do you love me?" "Daddy, you know I love you." "Then give me your pearls." "Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper." "That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you." And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek. "What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?" Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, "Here, Daddy. It's for you."

With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's kind daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime-store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny. He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her genuine treasure. So like our heavenly Father. The question is what are you hanging on to?

2007-08-03T08:47:00.000-05:00

The Rain-Thomas Kinkaid
Stop at the picture for a second, and watch the Rain... then read on...

One rainy afternoon I was driving along one of the main streets of town, taking those extra precautions necessary when the roads are wet and slick.
Suddenly my daughter, Aspen, spoke up from her relaxed position in her seat. 'Dad, I'm thinking of something.'
This announcement usually meant she had been pondering some fact for a while, and was now ready to expound all that her six-year-old mind had discovered. I was eager to hear.
'What are you thinking?' I asked.
'The rain!' she began, 'is like sin, and the windshield wipers are like God wiping our sins away.'
After the chill bumps raced up my arms I was able to respond. 'That's really good, Aspen.'
Then my curiosity broke in. How far would this little girl take this revelation? So I asked...
'Do you notice how the rain keeps on coming? What does that tell you?'
Aspen didn't hesitate one moment with her answer: 'We keep on sinning, and God just keeps on forgiving us.'
I will always remember this whenever I turn my wipers on.
Isn't it distressing to know that when you forward this message you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them.
Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.
In order to see the Rainbow, you must first endure some Rain.
Hope the water flows when you get the picture
READ THE FIRST LINE CAREFULLY.
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.
This is a Thomas Kinkade painting. It's rumored to carry a miracle! The water is supposed to be running, so if it's not moving then the picture didn't come through entirely.
They say if you pass this on, you will receive a miracle. I am passing this on because I thought it was really pretty, and besides, who couldn't use a miracle?!

2007-08-01T21:28:00.000-05:00

I was Tagged...

THE RULES:

1. Post these rules before you give the facts.

2. List 8 random facts about yourself.

3. At the end of your post choose (tag) eight people and list their names (links)

4. Leave a comment on their blog letting them know you've been tagged.

Ok I am going to do this to the best of my abilty and I like Jen will just forget I seen the rest of it.

My random facts:

1. All I ever wanted in life for as long as I can remember was to get married, be a mommy, and to be a nurse. I've accomplished 2 of the 3 but there is still plenty of time.

2. I got married right out of highschool and we will celebrate our 11th anniversery on September 9. Our son Jordan was born 10 months later. He came a little quicker after we got married than we thought he would, but this momma was very happy.

3. I am still good friends with my grade/highschool sweetheart. He's a really good freind that I don't get to see nearly enough. His family was always so special to me they still are. My husband is even friends with him.

4. My grandpa was an old fashioned Pentecostal preacher. He was an amazing christian that I hope someday to be like. (even just a little)

5. My greatest fear is going to the dentist. I think I would rather give birth over going to the dentist.

6. I used to run a daycare out of my home.

7. I would love to have another baby, but I can't.

8. I want to go to Africa, I think it would be amazing. But when I go I want to be able to bring a baby home with me.

2007-08-01T21:12:00.000-05:00

Me...

I just thought I'd give an update on me and the changes in life I've made and the effects thereof. I started all of this on June 6th and as of today I have lost 23 1/2 pounds. I have went from being a person who hated exercising to someone whom really enjoys it. I am wearing a size 12/14 clothes, depending on how it is made. I bought some new clothes about 3 weeks ago that were to small and they are all now fitting. I bought a skirt at the same time that was to small and I wore it to church this past Sunday and honestly if I had waited any longer to wear it, it would have been too big. I feel so much better and when people come to me and say wow your looking really good that feels good. I wonder why they don't come to you when your putting on weight and say my your getting fat. Isn't that strange. I just want to encourage everyone out there that might be considering this go for it. It can be done. When I first started I was so out of shape that I couldn't walk any great distance. Mom and I were at the park walking the other night and we made all the way around running. That is so empowering, just to know that I accomplished that. This has also made me feel so much better about myself, it makes me want to do things for me. It's really quite strange to post this stuff because I feel like I'm bragging on myself and I hate doing that but it also helps me keep up with things and I have some out there that are interested in progress and I must keep them updated. Love you all!

2007-08-01T18:00:00.000-05:00

Bye, Bye Curl!!

So after I read Jen's post I went out today and got armed with a new straightner and some goop. The results were amazing. I have never had my hair this straight. I had pretty straight hair as a child but when I went into puberty I got all these curls and with every pregnancy I got more curl. Now it is just crazy.

I know it's not the most flattering picture but I wanted everyone to see how curly it was before I started.

During! See how fuzzy it is on top and poofy it is on the one side and straight on the other.

Again!!

All done. Isn't that amazing? (Thank you Jen)

My kids love taking pictures of mommy!

2007-08-01T08:49:00.000-05:00

As you can tell I've done alot of changing and rearranging. So what do ya think? The header picture was taken from the ferrry on the way back from The Statue of Liberty. I love my pictures we took while we were in New York last September.

2007-07-31T00:28:00.000-05:00

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2007-07-30T23:54:00.000-05:00

2007-07-30T23:44:00.000-05:00

2007-07-30T23:36:00.000-05:00